Hipster Holmes

• Modernized_Sherlock_Holmes: I'm a modernized version of modernized Sherlock Holmes!
• Sherlock_Holmes: So you're like Sherlock Holmes from the future?
• Modernized_Sherlock_Holmes: No my dear bodacious self! I'm the "hip and with it" version. My scarf is a rad colour and everything!
• Sherlock_Holmes: So you're a hipster version of me?
• Modernized_Sherlock_Holmes: Hey, I take offence to that! But you have the general idea.
• Sherlock_Holmes: I'm officially referring to you as Hipster Holmes now, just so you're aware.
• Modernized_Sherlock_Holmes: Shit.
• **Modernized_Sherlock_Holmes** is now **Hipster_Holmes**
• Sherlock_Holmes: You solve crimes while drinking Starbucks coffee and listening to dubstep on your first generation iPod, all with the help of your trusty sidekick who goes by the name Doc Watson, because the name John is too mainstream.
• Hipster_Holmes: I actually have a first generation iPod, so this is all accurate. I will find myself a Doc Watson soon because that would be as the kids say "gnarly."
• Sherlock_Holmes: And I'll just stand by and scowl because everyone will like you better than me. Btw, you have to find your Doc Watson by Wednesday.
• Hipster_Holmes: Damn. It takes time to find the perfect DC. I'll be sure to though, so prepare your Watson.
• Sherlock_Holmes: Oh we'll be ready. We've been training for the Sherlympics for ages. Handcuffed hurdles, long-distance adoration, synchronized giggling, cross-country posing, indoor shooting, sheet tug-of-war, wrestling with technology, three-day sulking event, mental gymnastics, modern pent-up sexual tension, and rooftop diving.
• Hipster_Holmes: But the things you need most are sponsors if you want to survive the Hunger Cases! And I have plenty of underground music stores that sell songs from local bands to back up Doc Watson and I!
• Sherlock_Holmes: Yes, but I'm already rich. Haven't you seen my custom-tailored designer suits? And sponsors are for people who aren't skilled enough to fight for what they need. Have you seen the way I fight? Not to mention that my John always has his gun on him.
• Hipster_Holmes: Being an eagle scout, I can survive the harshest environments possible. This is also helped by my natural bad-assery, but you have an advantage since bullets are my one weakness.
• Sherlock_Holmes: Too bad for you my Watson happens to be the best shot in all of England. And my brother practically runs the British government, so he can manipulate the Hunger Cases. I'll get all the best science equipment for my on-site experiments to solve them faster than you.
• Hipster_Holmes: What if we teamed up? Formed an alliance?
• Sherlock_Holmes: Against who?
• Hipster_Holmes: The Scotland Yard, of course. Their tributes this year are Anderson and Donovan.
• Sherlock_Holmes: Yes! We shall form an unstoppable alliance and solve all the crimes before them!
• Hipster_Holmes: As long as we get to feed Anderson to the mutated tributes from the past Hunger Cases.
• Sherlock_Holmes: I think we can manage that much. They might spit him out though.
• Hipster_Holmes: I hear one of them looks like a dinosaur.
• Sherlock_Holmes: We'll lure him that way then.