Waking up the nations (Hetalia headcanon)
- America: It practically takes an army to get him out of bed. He'll push the snooze button about a million times, then when he actually wakes up, he'll freak out when he sees how late in the morning it is and rush to get ready. If you wake him up too early, he's grumpy the rest of the day.
- England: He's much easier to wake up, but if you wake him up too early, he'll give you death glares the rest of the day. If he wakes up at the right time (exactly 6:35), he'll be ready to go in ten minutes and have a good breakfast.
- Russia: He wakes up incredibly early - about 5:00 in the morning - so no one has to help wake him up. He doesn't even sleep in on the weekends, because he says it would mess with his Circadian rhythm.
- China: His sleep schedule is incredibly erratic, due to being woken up by the other Asian nations at random times when they were children. Some days he'll wake up at 6:00, some days he'll wake up at 11:00. He'll usually get out of bed pretty quickly, but be incredibly pissed if it's for a stupid reason.
- France: He wakes up whenever he feels like it, which is usually pretty late in the morning. (Around 9:30 to 10:00.) As long as he gets at least eight hours of sleep, he'll be okay, but if he doesn't, he'll whine about it until lunch.
- Canada: He gets up pretty early - around 6:00 - but gets ready for the day slowly. It'll usually take him about an hour to get ready to go. Once he's done that, he'll call America a couple times to make sure he's awake. If you wake him up early, he'll be okay, but he'll have to go to bed earlier that night.
- Veneziano: He hates getting up in the morning, and is incredibly pissed until he's had a shower and a cup of coffee. After that, he feels much better, and acts happy again.
- Romano: He's a lot like his brother, but worse. It takes more than just a shower and coffee to put him in a decent mood - he needs about an hour to wake up, and even then, he's really not okay until he's had something to eat.
- Germany: He wakes up early and easily. That's all.
- Japan: He wakes up when the sun rises, no matter what time of day that actually is. Every once in a while, he'll call China and talk to him about how the previous day had been.
- Prussia: A general summary of him waking up is "NOPE NOPE NOPE IT'S NOT NOON YET I'M STAYING IN BED NOPE GET AWAY FROM ME FIVE MORE MINUTES NOPE."
- Iceland: He's a really deep sleeper, so waking him up is a chore. When he finally does wake up, he will give you the evillest look you've ever gotten before standing up and walking out of the room silently.
- Norway: He's basically exactly like Iceland, but instead of actually waking up, he'll hit you in the face first, then wake up a few minutes later.
- Denmark: When he wakes up, it's actually pretty early in the morning (not as early as England or Russia, but still pretty early). He'll be the one to wake up the other Nordics by calling them, or, if he's at one of their houses, he'll drag them out of bed.
- Sweden: He doesn't talk at all in the mornings until he's gotten the chance to wake up. Once he's really awake, he'll say something like "you woke me up too early" and then walk out of the room.
- Finland: He's the worst to get out of bed. If you try to wake him up, he'll start screaming and kicking until you leave him alone. Finland wakes up on his own terms, at his own time, and if you try to mess with that, there will be hell to pay.
Hetalia Headcanons: What the Countries Smell Like
- Italy: Kitchens and herbs and chocolate and faintly of watercolor paint
- Germany: Musky smell, like leather and sweat and gunpowder, faintly of dogs
- Japan: Water - the ocean and hot springs
- America: Burgers and Axe cologne and leather
- England: Rain and tea leaves and old books
- China: Ink and wood and green tea
- Russia: Vodka (not too strong though) and sunflowers and cologne
- France: Pastries, roses, red wine and cologne (a bit stronger than the rest of the countries)
- Romano: Brick ovens and powerful spices and cologne, sometimes like grass
- Spain: Cinnamon and tomatoes and adobe bricks and earthiness
- Ukraine: Grass and dirt and sunflowers and warm milk, almost like a baby's smell
- Belarus: Vodka (a bit stronger than Russia) and smoke, covered by perfume
- Canada: Maple syrup and other sweet things
- Cuba: Ocean air and cigars
- Austria: Metal and wood and candle wax
- Switzerland: Gunpowder and smoke
- Liechtenstein: Flowers and fresh cut grass and a little bit of gunpowder
- Belgium: Bakeries and fresh bread and chocolate
- Rome: Warm kitchens, tomatoes, and the smell of the sidewalk after the rain stops
- Prussia: Too much cologne
- Hungary: Flowers and laundry soap, with a little bit of gunpowder in there
- Denmark: Beer and cologne
- Iceland: Beaches and sand, a salty-cold smell
- Finland: Crayons and firewood and sweet fruits
- Norway: Roasting meat and old metal armor and fires, but also has a sweet sort of smell
- Sweden: Rusting metal and hot cocoa and bonfires
- Estonia: Metal and old wood and fresh linens
- Latvia: Foods and sweets, yummy-smelling things
- Poland: New fabric and hair product
- Lithuania: Antiseptic solutions and old metal
- Greece: Wheat fields and dust, with a sort of warm smell of a hot day
- Sealand: Salt water and oil and old factories
- Seychelles: The ocean and beaches and flowers and sunny days
- Scotland: Musky cologne and cigars and grass
- Romania: Smells of cologne, which is covering a faint smell of blood and chemicals
- Seborga: Smells faintly of herbs, mostly of the ocean
- India: Deep spices and sand and incense
- (Made by both najikasun and cocopowder16)
Hetalia Headcanons - The nations' favorite pick-up lines
- America: Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see! (Alternate: If you were a burger at McDonald's, you'd be the McGorgeous!)
- England: Bond...James Bond.
- France: [He gives the woman 12 roses - 1 real, 11 fake] I will stop loving you when all the roses die. (Alternate: I wish I were a tear, so I could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.)
- Russia: You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me.
- China: If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
- Canada: I invented the zipper. (Alternate: How much does a polar bear way? Enough to break the ice.)
- Veneziano (North Italy): See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.
- Romano (South Italy): I noticed you noticing me and I wanted to note that I noticed you noticed me.
- Germany: Drink until I'm good looking, then come talk to me.
- Japan: Your eyes are blue as the ocean, and I'm lost at sea.
- Prussia: I heard sex is a serial killer. Wanna die happy?
- Sweden: If I follow you home, will you keep me?
- Norway: You must be the cause of global warming. Because you're hot.
- Finland: I must be a snowflake, 'cause I'm falling for you!
- Denmark: Can I read your T-shirt in Braille?
- Iceland: Your mom was pretty good, so I figured you'd be, too.
I will just leave this here.
Hong Kong initiating sex:
China trying to work with computers:
Sealand when left alone at England’s house:
America whenever someone insults England’s eyebrows:
Prussia when Germany’s trying to make a speech:
Denmark whenever Norway comes to his house:
America and France after England storms of pissed at them: (France is Dory)
All the hetalia characters are cute in their own way
- Italy: Ditzy/Stupid Cute
- Germany: Awkward Cute
- Japan: Withdrawn Cute
- America: Obnoxious Cute
- England: Stuck-Up Cute
- China: Attempting-to-be-Manly Cute
- Russia: Childish Cute (sometimes)
- France: Flirty Cute
- Romano: Tsundere-to-the-extreme Cute
- Canada: Shy Cute
- Prussia: Dorky Cute
- Hungary: Tough-Girl Cute
- Liechtenstein: Little Girl Cute
- Switzerland: Protective-Big-Brother Cute
- Austria: Perfectionist Cute
- Denmark: Loud and Outgoing Cute
- Finland: Clingy Cute
- Sweden: Manly-As-Fuck Cute
- Norway: Adoring-on-the-Inside Cute
- Iceland: Unwilling-to-Cooperate Cute
- Latvia: Tiny Cute
- Lithuania: Optimistic Cute
- Estonia: Geeky Cute
- Hong Kong: Stubborn Cute
- Taiwan: Pretty-Lady Cute
- Korea: Annoying-Little-Brother Cute
- Ukraine: Emotional Cute
- Belarus: On-and-Off-Yandere Cute
- Holy Roman Empire: Hopelessly-in-Love Cute
- Chibitalia: Babbu Cute
- Chibimano: Pouty Cute
- Rome: Doting-Grandfather Cute
- Germania: Stoic Cute
- Spain: Just FUCKING ADORABLE FOR ALL THE REASONS ASDF.
The Hetalia crew isn’t personifications of politics, cultures, or history. They are personifications of the unity of their people, of the fact that when it all comes down to it, we are mentally loyal to a certain place. This is why Prussia still lives, the Italies are separate, and Sealand exists at all.
Everyone remember this?
Unbeknownst to Germany, Italy, or the audience, the bucket incident was actually not as random as people might think.
The bucket was actually thrown down from heaven by an angry Germania, to punish the grandson of Rome for putting his own grandson through the same irritation and eyeball-clawing despair the ancient himself experienced with Rome!
Full Headcanon Babble on Arthur Kirkland
Why am I doing this
Sometimes they way the Hetalia fandom portrays Iggy here gets on my nerves.
Oh thats why
Usually, all I end up seeing is him being a whimpering ball of baw and angst, who gets sloshed all the nights of the year because he just can’t cope with shit. And oh how America betrayed him, how dare he, ripped out his heart he did. And how he can’t stand France to the ends of the earth and everything is somehow his fault too.
And that’s all.
Its like the majority of the people who like Hetalia and make fanworks of it, Arthur is just tossed up to be, and only be, this type of character. Which really bothers the ever-living junk out of me.
So now I will pick apart his character that is all entirely 100% MY VIEW OF HIM. IF THIS GETS REBLOGGED INTO THE DASH OF SOMEONE WHO IS LIKE “hale naw beech I dou naut agee wit dis” GOOD FOR YOU. I DON’T CARE 8)
Okay let me throw on some Clash to get into the mood here;
Okay, okay here I go. (I’m a history major you know)
First I’ll start with the general “can’t cop with shit” and how people Tsun-Tsun up his relationships.
CAN’T COPE WITH SHIT: um hello, England as a nation has been through some crazy shit. I’m pretty damn convinced that Arthur, being the personification of England, can keep his shit together quite well. He’s had practice keeping all his eggs in a basket balanced on his head while he juggles the Queen’s militia walking across a two inch pole over a 1,000 foot drop.
Him being a pirate? Okay yeah I can see that - it’s a big part of English past and history. But if you know anything about Pirates, they were hardasses. Nutty hardasses. Living on the ocean for God knows how long just beating the shit out of everything in their way and looting things.
Oh and fucking things.
Before I get someone going all “not EVERY pirate was like that goddamn”
Take your Pirates of your Caribbean and stuff it. Where I can see where you’re getting at, this is the general idea. Even if you find a pirate that was “lol not so bad”, they’re still a pirate. And what do pirates do?
They steal shit. Probably murdered some folks too. And once on land I doubt they didn’t try and get some ass.
Unless they got the ass from the cabin boy.
This leads me to believe Artie here has been down the block of scams and being a general sneaky, conniving bastard. And he ISN’T some squirmy, whimpering virgin either. He’s had his fare share of bed bouncing. Sex doesn’t freak him out, nor does the talk of sex. He’s been there, done that.
And done them
He doesn’t go around bragging about his over zealous (past or possible present) sex life either (that’s France’s job).
Leading into that, Arthur is a man who keeps to himself. Yeah, all those eggs I mentioned earlier? They’re his eggs, why the hell does everyone need to snoop around and mess with his eggs? GTFO bitches.
Going into the Tsun-Tsun relationships; (BUT YOU ALREADY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT-no, I talked about Artie and sex. Sex is not a relationship goddamn). A “Tsundere” character is only someone who, as themselves, is a tough, egotistical person with a dash of “I’m kind of always grumpy don’t breath on me or I will shove this chair up your ass” (give or take). Then when they develop feelings for a person they become cuddly sweethearts (more or less).
Now then, I will point out I mentioned this when talking about relationships - as in “lol love” relationships. WHICH MEANS HE ISN’T LIKE THIS WITH EVERY DAMN PERSON OUT THERE. Arthur is your a-typical British Grump, with shined shoes, a poke-pie hat and pinky always in the goddamn air. If you don’t make his heart flutter and make a grab at his ass, he is not going to stutter and flutter about like a distraught school girl.
Lets reel back to the whole “lol pirates had a lot of sex” thing. If someone made a pass at him or attempted to molest him, Arthur would a.) Do that thing where someone quirks the eyebrow (and with his that would be a spectacle wouldn’t it?) and be like “wot” and ignore the ever-living existance of said person. HE’S BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. Your passes and grabby hands do not affect him. Or he would b.) slam your face into the wall because he is not in the mood for such tomfoolery.
If you’re his friend he’ll be less of an asshole, but still snippity. Though he’ll be the most loyal bastard you will ever have. (I think relations between the United States and England are a prime example; America is kind of an asshole too, yet England still backs our shit.) Though Iggy is picky and finicky about who he considers a friend. Getting close to someone takes a long ass while for him. When looking into English history, it’s no wonder WHY.
People were assholes in the Middle Ages, especially to England. He was minding his own business when suddenly he’s getting invaded left and right. Rome wasn’t that nice to him and France was kind of a dick himself at the time. (France: LOL YOU HAVE TO USE MY KING HA HA HA England: FUK U)
Constant Wars and then dealing with the mofoing Plague makes you a prickly person. Arthur has seen shit, been through shit, and done some shit - though he has every right to act like the shit, he doesn’t and he’d rather just not deal with your shit.
Sorry I went off track here, continuing on. Still on relationships.
Now I don’t want this to be a damn battle over “USUK” or whatnot. In reality you can take those two as you will. I can see both sides of these two’s relationship but here’s my over all synopsis:
Arthur is like Alfred’s parental figure for most of his life. Artie DID raise him after all. Whether that could be translated into them actually being in love later on, eh, sure yeah maybe. But my take on it really is that Aurthur Mom’s on Al all the time. In retrospect, Al is his little boy (along with Matthew, Australia, New Zealand, India, and Hong Kong) which is why England puts up with all of America’s shit. Parents tend to do that.
“Special Relationship” could also be translated into “ilu Mummy”. Because as much as the joke is that England backs us on everything, America backs England just as much. Us American’s have a weakness against them British; we just can’t say no.
Whenever Al pops in unannounced like we all know he does, it’s because he’s a Momma’s boy and is feeling in need of attention. Arthur rants about him not acting like a grown man and how he needs to take his feet off the table, but he also brings out the fizzy drink and chips for some bonding times.
Oh and Doctor Who marathon.
His relationship/dealings with France is one I more personally see as a ”relationship” type of this. They fight and bitch like an old married couple. Their history and culture is too intertwined to NOT have something going on. What with the constant marriages to the other’s prince/princess and so on. But their relationship isn’t solely on sex - as much as France likes it. Arthur isn’t the little sex fiend he was back in the day, which is why he blows his top when France gets a little frisky and grabby - he just doesn’t want to at the moment. Especially since they’re in public. Public displays of affecting are awkward to Iggy and give him a rash. Oh sure he’ll cuddle and junk behind closed doors though, but doing that shit in public is not what gentlemen do.
Because England is a goddamned gentleman
He holds doors open for ladies, puts his coat over puddles, stands when you leave, and eats everything with a fork.
Now lets talk about Arthur Kirkland and wars.
England has been through a lot of wars, everyone should already be aware of this (if you don’t, wtf do you live under a rock?). He also started a lot of wars.
HE ALSO WON A LOT OF WARS. ACTUALLY UP UNTIL THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, HE WON LIKE
ALL OF THEM.
This is why he was able to get to be called the ~*British Empire*~
His army was the shit (not just his though, Spain’s and Prussia’s military was also badass, but we’re talking about Mister Briton here.) and he had the best Navy in the known world at the time.
He’s a tactician, he knows his way around a war. He’s sneaky and plotting and gets his jollies from dragging asses across the battle field. Hell I’m willing to bet that wars and battles excited him to some extent. It was just his thing. It was EVERYONE’s thing back then.
So when someone threatens to kill him he doesn’t piss his trousers and run. He’s grins and says “bring it bitch”.
That or give your this look of “wtf u doin’ go away”
The American Revolution; well okay- having your kindof son say they hate you and break away from you is kind of shitty. But For Arthur it just boils down to the fact that being an Empire got to his head and started acting like a bitch. The loss of the A.R made him realize that so he felt like a bitch for a while. So no he is not an angst muffin of baw about how Alfred “left him”. He’s actually quite proud of his boy. And to say the least, if my “son” who fought against me, the strongest army in the known world, and won, became his own nation and gained as much power and influence as America did is such a short amount of time
I’d be pretty fucking proud.
Like ‘holy shit that came from me’ proud.
Which Arthur is, very much so. It was just that for a while the sudden change of the world around him freaked him out a bit. That and He and Al were having a family quarrel and refused to talk for a while.
Boys don’t get over shit as easily as girls do.
It’s a testosterone thing.
During World War One and Two - oh ho this one always aggravates me - Arthur doesn’t whimp around and pout about how much his shit hurts (I’m pretty sure it DID hurt - and suck, and was a horrible damn experience, those wars) nor did he run around panicing that America didn’t want to help him right away (America was dealing with his own shit at the time ANYWAY- but that’s for another time).
Albeit Arthur did try on more than one occasion to get Alfred to help, he didn’t cry and tantrum when he didn’t.
He is Arthur Kirkland and he is the Bloody United Kingdom. This shit don’t faze him.
Germany bombs London? England flips him the bird and says he’s got fancy toys too.
Arthur was in the trenches getting shot at sipping his tea like the British Bastard he is. War isn’t something Iggy loses his head over. (Thats’ France’s thing; beheading) The British Government DID come up with “Keep Calm and Carry On” slogan when they were getting Blitzkrieg’d left and right.
You ultimately declare war on Briton, Arthur will raise his tea with a grin and say “Bring it on bitches. Best regards.” and be on his way.
He’s also a damn good spy.
Technology and junk doesn’t faze him either. Where he’d rather have the actual book in his hands, his Kendle makes him glee when he finds a book on it he can’t anywhere else. Facebook and Youtube isn’t is forte but he uses the internet just as much as everyone else. (He’s got a shitload of pictures on his desktop from his digital camera.)
And he is in constant text wars with Spain; sending to each other insults and whatwhaveyou.
All the latest gadgets he gets his hands on eventually because his kid IS the United States and he’s good friends with Japan too.
And okay, okay yeah the guy has issues cooking. But that doesn’t mean every damn thing he touches turns to charcoal. He can whip up some sexy delicious pies and sweets. And YEAH some of his food is odd.
Like, “that’s real blood in that pudding ,what” odd.
But Arthur has a huge ass sweet tooth (Al had to inherit it from SOMEONE). He’s always got midget gems and chocolates stuffed in his coats or sweater vests. He’s also not mister healthy either, he just gets on Al’s case because that’s what Mom’s do; they want their babies to be healthy. But Arthur likes to stuff his face with junk food too.
He’s also a real carnivore. He’ll eat that salad but there better be some goddamned meat in it.
I think it’s about time to end this, and I don’t know how so I’m just gonna put up this picture I found so you all can stare at it and call it a day’s work.
What Me and Madsi Think Nations Smell Like
- Norway: Moonlight Path (bath and body works scent, its like a musky old doll with pretty flowers and shiz)
- Denmark: Beer. Musky beer.
- Australia: Dirt and grassssss
- Austria: FLOWERS
- Switzerland: Goats and chocolate
- France: Roses and sex
- Canada: Syrup and MOOSE
- Belgium: Citrussyyyy and waffles
- China: Cinnamon and chai tea
- Sweden: Wood and sweat.
- Greece: Beaches and cat ((kittylitter))
- Japan: Fucking Cherry Brossoms
- Lars: Clean laundry and tulips
- America: Fucking burgers and MANLYNESS
- Lithuania: Coffee and nature
- Poland: Whatever perfume he's wearing at the moment
- Russia: Vodkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
- Wy: Flowers and paint
- England: Fire and tea
- Italy: a motherfucking italian restaurant
- Spain: tomatos and various spices
- Iceland: refrigerator
- Sealand: Beaches and chlorine
- Finland: Flowers and windex