Every Single The Onion Headline That References Iowa Or An Iowa City
After reading this piece, which was amazing written and accurate and a little bullyish the way you’d expect it to be, I wondered about the history of The Onion’s love affair with picking on Iowa.
Here are all the headlines that call out the state by name (or city), scraped from a simple site search:
- 600-Pound Butter Cow Sculpture Wins Iowa Caucus
- Award-Winning News Team Keeps Southern Iowa Man In Touch With Southern Iowa
- Clinton Dropping Out Of Iowa?
- Computer-Generated Talking Cat On TV Delights Iowa Woman
- Dept. Of Labor Reports It Could Be Nothing, But They May Have Spotted Job In Iowa Strip Mall
- Despite Lack Of Natural Disaster, Thousands Flee Des Moines, Iowa
- Everclear Faces Iowa Ban
- For Gay Couple, Fulfilling Lifelong Dream Of Marriage Not Worth Moving To Iowa
- Fully Validated Kanye West Retires To Quiet Farm In Iowa
- Iowa Board Of Tourism Launches ‘Des Moines Is DesPerate’ Campaign
- Iowa Boobs-For-Grades Scandal
- Iowa Fashion Week Begins
- Iowa Resident Has Opinion Month Too Late
- Meat Shelf Breaks Free Of Iowa
- No Luck In Muscatine
- Obama & McCain Have A “Tip-Top” Time In Cedar Rapids
- Santorum Won Iowa Caucus
- Security Beefed Up At Cedar Rapids Public Library
- Smoking Now Permitted Only In Special Room In Iowa
- Stoner Regales Friends With Tale Of This One Bong He Saw In Iowa City Once
- Supreme Court Cock-Blocks Iowa Man
- Town Of Davenport, Iowa Descends Into Hell Following Gay Marriage Ceremony
- Voting Begins In Iowa
- Zoo Orangutan Feels He Really Connected With Iowa Woman
Old Poem
My brother, who is visiting for the holidays, found a poem I wrote circa 2005. I copy it here.
Isn’t it a miracle
that we are all linked up
Isn’t a miracle that God has found us?
a dark God has found us
I’m just an Iowa boy from a one-horse town
on the net just to pass the time
chatting with cousins from Singapore now
Suddenly they meet a fellow Hawkeye
Nobody knows why, nobody knows how
Isn’t it a miracle
that we are all linked up?
Isn’t it a miracle that God has found us?
A dark God has found us
He’s from Cornville and he knows me
I know them
and he does too
a network of friends
You know me, and I know you!
