cincosechzehn submitted:
OH HO. SO FORWARD AND FORCEFuL.
NOT THAT I CAN BLAME YOu. MY SWAGGER IS ABSOLuTELY IRRESISTIBLE.
LOOK AT THIS FILTH MY HAND HAS WROuGHT. IT IS MY PERSONAL GIFT TO YOu. YOu VILE SHREW YOu.
AND AS A BONuS. I SEE THAT THESE PORNOGRAPHIC HEARTS TASTE LIKE BONES. DELICIOuS. DOWNRIGHT THOuGHTFuL AND *AFFECTIONATE*. SO FuCKING NASTY.
YOu ARE TRuLY MY BOTTOM BITCH.
Oh my god this is somewhat long so I put it under a cut but please read it its literally the best thing thats ever been submitted to me
Jared
“I’m not a kid Chad, I don’t have to dress up for a party just because it’s Halloween!” Jared tossed a rolled up cloth back at his friend with a laugh.
Chad sighed and shook his head, “Man you’re missin’ the point! You’re nineteen, you won’t be next year so this is your last chance to pull the whole ‘I’m a teenager!’ thing on people. Plus I bet Jenny would love this,” he held up the would-be loincloth at Jared and shimmied it around. Jared rolled his eyes and made a disturbed face, not even wanting to let the image of himself walking around in practically nothing in front of anyone but Jensen set itself in his mind.
“He gets to see me in less plenty,” he laughed and Chad’s face screwed up in disgust perfectly, making Jared smile bigger.
“Jare quit bein’ a spoilsport! How ‘bout thi—”
“No!”
Chad was sitting on his own bed surrounded by clothes, and had begun to lift a construction hat to show Jared but at Jared’s vehement disapproval he laughed and tossed it to the other side of the mattress.
“You know what? I’m callin’ him, I bet he wants you to dress up all pretty for him,” Chad pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through looking for Jensen’s number just as Jared moved to lunge in order to stop him.
“CHAD STOP! I DON’T WANNA WEAR A FUCKING COSTUME OKAY?!” Jared scrambled for his friend’s phone, throwing himself at the blonde.
Chad laughed and yelled into the phone as he pushed Jared off of him, “JENSEN?!”
halloween television for tomorrow, sunday 10/28/12
disney channel:
- 3:30 pm: phineas and ferb (3x13) - the curse of candace; that’s the spirit!
- 10:30 pm: gravity falls (1x12) - summerween
- 13:30 pm: my babysitter’s a vampire (2x11) - halloweird
cartoon network:
- 1:00 pm: powerpuff girls - rowdy ruff boys (not a halloween episode, i don’t think, but still the best episode EVER SO WATCH THIS SHIT)
- 2:00 pm: amazing world of gumball - halloween/ghost
- 2:30 pm: dear dracula
- 5:00 pm: pirates of the caribbean: dead man’s chest
nickelodeon:
- 9:00 am: fred 2: night of the living fred
- 11:00 am: monster high: ghouls rule
- 12:30 pm: monster high
- 3:00 pm: monster high: why do ghouls fall in love?
- 4:00 pm: icarly - ihalloween
- 5:00 pm: the boy who cried werewolf
- 7:00 pm: spongebob squarepants - scaredy pants/i was a teenage gary
nick toons:
- 8:00 am: wild grinders - wild zombies/scream a little scream
nick at nite:
- 11:30 pm: friends - the one with the halloween party
1:30 am: george lopez - trick or treat me right
abc family:
- 12:00 am: coraline
- 7:30 am: scooby doo
- 9:30 am: scooby doo 2: monsters unleashed
- 11:30 am: the addams family
- 1:30 pm: addams family values
- 3:30 pm: monster house
- 5:30 pm: hocus pocus
- 7:30 pm: the sorcerer’s apprentice
- 10:00 pm: hocus pocus
amc:
- 12:45 am: predator
- 3:15 am: mimic
- 6:00 am: war of the colossal beast
- 7:00 am: silver bullet
- 9:00 am: pet sematary
- 11:00 am: pet sematary 2
- 1:00 pm: cujo
- 3:00 pm: christine
- 5:00 pm: thinner
- 7:00 pm: the walking dead
- 8:00 pm: the walking dead
- 9:00 pm: the walking dead
- 10:01 pm: the walking dead
bbc america:
- 2:30 pm: mary shelley’s frankenstein
- 5:00 pm: the secret of crickley hall
- 8:00 pm: the shining
- 11:00 pm: misery
chiller:
- 6:00 am: the twilight zone - the night of the meek
- 7:30 am: screaming in heals: the rise and fall of the scream queen era (documentary)
- 9:00 am: chiller 13: horror’s creepiest kids
comedy central:
- 4:45 pm: shaun of the dead
fearnet:
- 6:00 am: the stepfather
- 2:00 pm: the nun
- 4:00 pm: slaughter high
- 6:00 pm: quarantine
- 8:00 pm: quarantine 2: the terminal
- 10:00 pm: rec
- 12:00 am: rec 2
- 2:00 am: splice
- 4:00 am: quarantine
fox news:
- any program. it’s horrifying. you’ll be freaked the fuck out. really.
fx:
- 8:00 am: hellboy
- 11:00 am: 30 days of night
- 1:30 pm: jennifer’s body
- 3:30 pm: twilight
- 6:00 pm: the twilight saga: new moon
- 9:00 pm: the twilight saga: new moon
mtv:
- 11:00 pm: friday the 13th
- 1:15 am: seed of chucky
- 3:15 am: friday the 13th
mtv 2:
- 12:30 pm: boy meets world - the witches of pennbrook
- 1:30 pm: boy meets world - the psychotic episode
logo:
- 1:30 pm: bride of chucky
spike:
- 4:30 pm: the last house on the left
- 7:00 pm: stephen king’s it
- 11:00 pm: the crazies
syfy:
- 1:00 pm: thir13n ghosts
- 3:00 pm: nightmare on elm street: freddy’s revenge
- 5:00 pm: nightmare on elm street: the dream child
- 3:00 am: children of the corn
THERE YOU GO!!!
