- Grunt: Boss, the profits from the Mt Moon operation are starting to roll in, what should we do with the mon-
- Giovanni: BUILD A CASINO IN CELADON
- Grunt: ...A casino? That isn't really going to be much us-
- Giovanni: WITH A BASE UNDERNEATH IT
- Grunt: Oh, I see! nobody would ever look for us th-
- Giovanni: WITH THE ENTRANCE HIDDEN BEHIND A POSTER
- Grunt: Wait what? What about just a locked door or someth-
- Giovanni: WITH FLOOR TILES THAT MAKE YOU SPIN
- Grunt: Sir that doesn't even mak-
- Giovanni: SPINNY
- Giovanni: TILES
Team RocketKavalier Calm
My newest #Pokemon song is about Team Rocket. I tried to write a song from their perspective, and in doing so, I realized that the Poke-crime syndicate may not be as evil as it seems. After all, many of us go to extremes to acquire wealth. And we all exploit the world’s natural resources for our own good—be it for electricity or medical testing. So are we really any better than the members of Team Rocket? I accidentally got very political pointing out the flaws in our criticisms; all the election buzz must be having an effect on me. I dedicate this song to aprilrose19 because she first suggested that I write a song about Team Rocket. I also dedicate this song to these blogs I’ve found recently with rad, relevant Poke-content: f***yeahpokevillains, f***yeahjessieandjames, fyteamrocket, rarecandytreatment, fypblog, and diglettcave. Free downloads of this track are here, and you can stream it on YouTube here. If you dig my work, please share it with your friends through Facebook/Twitter/etc., and check out my other work! Thanks for listening, friends! — Kavalier Calm
All you trainers, would-be masters, think us evil
‘cause we steal and exploit Pokémon for profit.
But all Pokémon exist for the glory of Team Rocket.
We are all just like Meowth, waiting for a Pay Day.
Some go to Game Corner and play the slots; we steal our way.
It’s hard to make a living, and that’s why we say:
To protect the world from devastation!
To unite all peoples within our nation!
To denounce the evils of truth and love!
To extend our reach to the stars above!
We must steal every one!
All of you are so Pokémon rich, you have more than you can carry;
Giovanni wants to spread the wealth rotting on your PC!
Robin Hood proved it’s okay to be a thief.
You all act high and mighty, but we know the ruse:
you love power, energy, and fossil fuel.
Pokémon are just a resource for us to use.
Animal experiments are fine if you profit from their finds.
You don’t care that your acne cream was tested on chimps and mice;
so why pretend you’re sad when we test on an electric-type?
If you are all so disgusted by what we do,
then tell me why everyone wants to catch Mewtwo?
We aren’t fooled. We know the truth:
Poke-fans, can you spot all the Poke-references?