fml
Since school started I started eating more again. A lot more. Too much.
Or I couldn’t handle it.
Being there more than half of my day.
And I neglected my tumblr and “dieting”.. losing weight.
And I gained about 15 lbs.
All that I worked so hard for.
It’s killing me.
I don’t know what to do.
Eat and be healthy but fat or don’t eat and have trouble focusing in school and even learning at home, stomach growling in class etc.
And I barely have time for exercise. The most I can do it go running in the evenings.
Fuck. Why is this happening?
Why do I see skinny girls eating all the time.. in the city, I see them eating pizza, ice cream, everthing delicious. Yet they are so skinny.
But when I eat that.. I just get fatter. and fatter. and fatter.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Someone come and stab me right now. Or I might just cut myself instead.
Blah :(
Since I was
Since I was being deprived of having an unskip meal these past few weeks, due to the fact that my sister (tita) just came home from other country, And for that, from this very moment you’ll already have a clue.. “Fridge will always be full of chocolates and sweets”. Also, these past few weeks, Luckily but unfortunately, our dinner was always well-prepared, which is not normal for us, since we intend to cook on a small volume or quantity. Am not against it, but hey! They are meant to be ate! Hahaha! our breakfast seemed to be like the last supper and my lunch, of course, I’m taking at school. Ugh. I can’t accept how I, eventhough, I tried to insist not to eat too much, there will always be that one moment where you’ll see yourself, standing in front of the fridge, choosing for something to eat. >< I AM NOW GETTING BIGGER AND FATTER. I hate the fact that, I LOVE TO EAT THAT MUCH BUT I DON’T WANT TO GET BIG. Very ironic isn’t it? How I wish to have a body like Sam Pinto or Cristine Reyes, but, I know that, It would only be just a dream for me. I die. Hahaha! But, nonetheless, I love my body and whatever I have now. I thank God everyday of my life for giving me such a healthy body. Compare it with a normal teenager today, who has a lot of vices etc, Still, I know that I am lucky because I feel good every single day of my life. Thank You God! And Let’s all be contented. :) Ooops! BTW, Last June 27, I celebrated my 18th birthday with a simple family dinner with my boyfriend and a late celeb with friends this coming Saturday! Hoping that it’ll be a good one! :D Xiao! :)
