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Sign up“Femme is a personal identity, but it’s also a political one….It questions the idea that there can be too much: too much blush, too much tulle, too many holes in your short shorts, too much calling out of racism, too many discussions about neocolonialism. Femme is resistance.”
—~ Elise Nagy, “Exploding The Limitations: What Being a Femme Means to Me,” inourwordsblog.comHow To Make Love to a Trans Person
genderqueerchicago.blogspot.comby Gabe Moses
Forget the images you’ve learned to attach
To words like cock and clit,
Chest and breasts.
Break those words open
Like a paramedic cracking ribs
To pump blood through a failing heart.
Push your hands inside.
Get them messy.
Scratch new definitions on the bones.
Get rid of the old words altogether.
Make up new words.
Call it a click or a ditto.
Call it the sound he makes
When you brush your hand against it through his jeans,
When you can hear his heart knocking on the back of his teeth
And every cell in his body is breathing.
Make the arch of her back a language
Name the hollows of each of her vertebrae
When they catch pools of sweat
Like rainwater in a row of paper cups
Align your teeth with this alphabet of her spine
So every word is weighted with the salt of her.
When you peel layers of clothing from his skin
Do not act as though you are changing dressings on a trauma patient
Even though it’s highly likely that you are.
Do not ask if she’s “had the surgery.”
Do not tell him that the needlepoint bruises on his thighs look like they hurt
If you are being offered a body
That has already been laid upon an altar of surgical steel
A sacrifice to whatever gods govern bodies
That come with some assembly required
Whatever you do,
Do not say that the carefully sculpted landscape
Bordered by rocky ridges of scar tissue
Looks almost natural.
If she offers you breastbone
Aching to carve soft fruit from its branches
Though there may be more tissue in the lining of her bra
Than the flesh that rises to meet itLet her ripen in your hands.
Imagine if she’d lost those swells to cancer,
Diabetes,
A car accident instead of an accident of genetics
Would you think of her as less a woman then?
Then think of her as no less one now.
If he offers you a thumb-sized sprout of muscle
Reaching toward you when you kiss him
Like it wants to go deep enough inside you
To scratch his name on the bottom of your heart
Hold it as if it can-
In your hand, in your mouth
Inside the nest of your pelvic bones.
Though his skin may hardly do more than brush yours,
You will feel him deeper than you think.
Realize that bodies are only a fraction of who we are
They’re just oddly-shaped vessels for hearts
And honestly, they can barely contain us
We strain at their seams with every breath we take
We are all pulse and sweat,
Tissue and nerve ending
We are programmed to grope and fumble until we get it right.
Bodies have been learning each other forever.
It’s what bodies do.
They are grab bags of parts
And half the fun is figuring out
All the different ways we can fit them together;
All the different uses for hipbones and hands,
Tongues and teeth;
All the ways to car-crash our bodies beautiful.
But we could never forget how to use our hearts
Even if we tried.
That’s the important part.
Don’t worry about the bodies.
They’ve got this.
Parenting: When you do it right
This is my Aunt Jess and her two babies, Dommie and Coley.

Aunt Jess lets her boys decide who they want to be and what they like. As a result, it’s okay that Dommie’s favorite color is purple/pink, even his binkies have to follow suit!

And when the State Fair ran out of pink sunglasses, Dommie reluctantly settled for pink flowers

And, instead of making a mockery of Dommie’s preferences, Aunt Jess didn’t even bat an eye at her son’s non-normative color preferences.

And, it’s even okay for Dommie to like purple AND wear necklaces!

Dommie is also allowed to choose his own toys.

And he gets to choose how to dress and how to keep his hair!

And Aunt Jess lets Dommie indulge any activity/hobby he is interested in, even the more effeminate ones such as…
1) Creating masterpieces

2) Playing masterpieces


Undocumented: playing with Barbies, wearing butterfly sticker earrings, and painting his nails.
But, this isn’t Aunt Jessica’s way of “having the girl she wasn’t blessed with,” because she allows Dommie to engage in more typically male activities, such as:
1) Hunting (not gathering)

2) Surviving in the wilderness

3) Showing his masculinity/toughness at billard halls

4) Exploring/Conquering nature

5) Playing an instrument that is a panty dropper

6) Playing a video game where you play a panty-dropping instrument

7) Keeping the order/peace

8) Saving Lives

9) Risking his life in extreme sports

10) Risking his life in combat with his brother

11) Being an athlete

12) And, of course, driving (and not stopping for directions)

So, it should be no surprise that, when Dommie asked to be a “purple sparkly princess” for Halloween, my Aunt obliged. And it should also be no surprise that she lets him love Justin Bieber. When people criticized Aunt Jessica for “letting” Dommie be a princess, she responded with the simplest fuck you in the world: “He wanted to be a princess. Why wouldn’t I let him? Don’t you want your children to be happy?” Essentially, she responded to hate with this:

And as for everyone worried my aunt’s “immoral” parenting will ruin Dommie, well…

I’d say he’s doing pretty fucking well.