I happened to catch some of the “Arthur” remake with Russel Brand. There’s a line that keeps sticking out in my brain when he’s at the NY Public Library at a children’s book reading trying to get the girl back:

 Kid: “Are you a boy or a girl?”

Arthur: “It doesn’t matter.”

The line goes by so quick that if you’re not paying attention you’ll probably miss it. It’s a really small thing that most people really wouldn’t think about beyond having a small chuckle but for me it seemed rather poignant.

I’m straight and I have gay friends and it really doesn’t bother me. In fact, seeing people being homophobic and attacking other people because they like people of the same gender bothers me more than seeing two people of the same gender kissing each other. The same applies to when one attacks other because of their color, race, nose or eye shape. Seeing people bringing others down really bothers me to the point I just want to ignore them because they are so childish and stupid and selfish. Gestures, words, cultures, behaviours, anything you want to point out to those you so proudly hate, you should first take a look at yourself and see what you can change and improve. Please stop hating.

been referred to tavistock and portman in london to see a gender specialist

any uk transguys go to the same place? i’ve not really heard much about it or what they do there

I understand that when one is Demiromantic, they only develop feelings for someone they are close with.

But can a Demiromantic be straight, gay or bisexual?

I’m wondering…

I feel sad.

If I like to dress like a boy sometimes, and still like to be girly, does that make me a genderbender? Or agender? Or WHAT DOES IT MAKE MEEE?

I am just so confused about my gender you guise. :C

Fashion is often shrouded with negative or ambivalent images of mindless consumption, elitist ideology, and an obsession with image. For years I tried to deny the fact that fashion endlessly fascinated me, out of a fear that loving runway shows and glossy magazines would brand me as one of the “stupid girls.” While I have now embraced this aspect of my personality, as with all other elements of culture, I am very picky about what aspects of fashion I integrate into my life. As a fat girl, I’m not particularly obsessed with unrepresentative models. As a closet hippie, I am uncomfortable with disposable “fast fashion.” But the overlapping shades of femininity and masculinity, tradition and exoticism, practicality and fantasy that are present in the fashion world have never ceased to spark my curiosity. Also, I really, really love shoes.

I recently posted a RuPaul quote that says, “You’re born naked and the rest is drag.” This at least partially describes the reasons for my interest in the world of fashion. If you believe, as I do, that gender is constructed by one’s actions supporting or subverting cultural assumptions, then fashion becomes one way to play with your own personal definitions of gender and self. I admire individuals like Dita Von Teese who purposefully and specifically construct a gender paradigm that is entirely personal. I applaud carefully considered artifice and creative rebellions. I love Jean Paul Gaultier’s lavish menswear and redefined corsets. By mediating between the unprotected self and the gaze of the other, clothes do indeed seem to make the man. Or woman, as the case may be. After all, Mark Twain was at least partly correct when he joked that “…Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

My dream is that people all over the world will learn to enjoy and play with fashion, not just as a sign of status or means of consumption, but as a vital and living technique for exploring and redefining their own identities in a world that is largely governed by visual considerations. As the philosopher Epictetus once said, “Know first who you are; then adorn yourself accordingly.” While adornment is neither an essential or serious matter, it is one way to know yourself, and to communicate that self to those around you. So enjoy it. Mess around with it. Unlike the animals who are born with the only coats they will ever wear, humanity is blessed with the ability to construct their own bright and changing feathers. You are free to create yourself every day, in the endless game that is a culture’s visual dialogue. And in this act of intentional creation, hopefully you will be brought ever closer to your truest self.