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POKEMON TRIES TO TRICK US

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WITH THIS LITTLE FUCKER

Ain’t he adorable? Look at those shiny eyes, and those fuzzy legs. A regular cutie-pie, right? He’s even supposed to be smaller than a human foot.

But then you realize… he’s a spider… who lives in caves… and hatched from an egg with his thousands and thousands of baby brothers and sisters and OMG WTF THEY’RE CRAWLING ALL OVER YOU KISSING YOU WITH THEIR FUCKING SPIDERY FACES! ASDJASDBCHJBFDFF

So I didn't kill the spider...

Instead I used the broom to ‘calmly’ carry the pair of pants it was residing in to the kitchen and throw it at the wall… Then I saw the spider run off towards the vent so its all good! Its… Its all good…

Its still alive… And in the house… Its close… And there might be more…

I feel like this:

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It never fails to amaze me that I can watch horror film after horror film, and they never really scare me that much anymore. Some still make me flinch at times, but I rarely get genuinely fearful or anything like that, it’s easy to shake off.  But I go downstairs to get some laundry and I see a spider in the laundry basket and scream and fall on my ass from jumping back + away from it. This was way worse than the spider in the shower a few months ago. At least that guy went down the drain. This spider’s still lurking down there… D:

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if galvantula was real i would fucking hate it

there was a hugeee spider on my bed this morning and now i’m scared to get in my bed like ever again

{{Uhura's Log

I just found a bag of powdered doughnuts and started eating them without looking inside. As I go to grab the last one, this HUGE ASS SPIDER FUCKING JUMPS OFF OF THE WEB COVERED DOUGHNUT AND FUCKING ATTACKS ME. I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO THROW UP. SEND HELP.

  • me: -stares at the wall where a spider is sitting-
  • me: oi! spider cunt get off my wall!
  • spider: WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID HUMAN?
  • spider: DID YOU SAY LEAP TOWARDS YOUR FACE AND MAKE YOU COWER LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH YOU ARE?
  • spider: WELL I SUPPOSE.
  • spider: -leaps a foot and nearly lands directly on my face-

while i was driving i noticed there was a huge ass fricking spider crawling on my windshield on the inside and i almost got into a wreck because of it 

Both a spider and a fly are in my room. Guess which fucker wasn’t doing its job.

an update:

THE SPIDER FELL OF THE CEILING AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE IT WAS AND I SAW SOME STUFF MOVE  AND SCREAMED AND I THINK I KILLED IT BUT I DON’T KNOW I’M STILL SCARED

Being trapped in the corner of your shower cause a mother fucking spider just decided to join me like ‘SUPRISE MOTHA FAWKA MIND IF I JOIN’ and it wasn’t an itty bitty one either! it was one of those big ass mother fawkers! Why did such a thing come in here?!

I am a certified spider slayer

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I AM NEVER GOING OUTSIDE AGAIN THERE ARE WEB THROWING SPIDERS AND TREE LOOK ALIKE SPIDERS AND LIKE INVISIBLE FUCKING SPIDERS

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