Giant Gender links of tumblr:
http://transtribulus.tumblr.com/ (natural transitioning without T )
http://thingsmytransphobicmothersays.tumblr.com/ (extremely triggering if your having a bad day)
http://keepyourcorsetstight.tumblr.com/ (privet tumblr by a really well educated/educating genderfluid individual, they can answer anything really)
http://fuckyeatranscharacters.tumblr.com/ (posts trans characters out of mangas/anima/tv shows/books/anything lot of awesome stuff)
http://fyeahnon-binaryseahorse.tumblr.com/ (genderfuild meme)
http://rileyxxx.tumblr.com/ (NSFW!!!! sex/gender positive blog (if thats your thing))
http://ftmporn.tumblr.com/ (NSFW again see above, TRIGGERING)
http://ftmtf.tumblr.com/ (basicly gender queer)
http://factsaboutqueers.com/ (pretty funny made up facts)
FOR YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S):
http://transparrotfishsignificantother.tumblr.com/ (trans parrot fish meme for your boo’s)
as you can see some aspects are lacking so if you know of a tumblr that needs to be here add it below!
Random gender thoughts
So I got a new work shirt the other day, just a white button-up, nicely tailored and professional. (Thank you Goodwill!) I wore it to work yesterday, with a black tie arranged into an ascot-bow type thing that the women traditionally wear at my job. And a bra. I passed almost completely I think.
Nobody at work said a thing except for one of the waitresses who whispered “you have chi-chi’s today!” and pointed at my chest. She knows a bit about my gender background and she’s been cool with it, so it didn’t bother me because I could tell she was being humorous. Not even the customers that I’ve known a while said anything - although many of the regulars wouldn’t say anything to me despite being friendly in the past. I figure being ignored is better than being criticized.
I was so, so scared on my way to work. Halfway there I strongly considered going right back home and putting on my guy stuff.
I felt really pretty, but I don’t know if I want to do that everyday .. going back and forth in a public sphere is extremely nerve wracking. :(
I wish people didn’t feel so constrained by gender .. to me it doesn’t even feel like a real phenomenon! Sometimes I have no idea where femininity ends and masculinity begins. I feel differently gendered every day. I used to just want to be a cis-person, but now I wish everyone else was genderfluid.
I was born into a female body.
I am taking testosterone because I feel more comfortable in a muscular, angular, hairier body.
I usually wear clothes that American society deems appropriate for males, but I sometimes wear clothes that society deems appropriate for females.
When you break it down, it’s not that hard to understand.
To those who question why I’m not happy with an estrogen-based body: do you prefer your body to look a certain way? So do I. To those who question why I want to wear “female” clothing: do you prefer to wear certain clothing sometimes? So do I.
Live and let live.
Okay here's the thing
A certain experience is not necessary for an identity.
Identity has nothing to do with experience, necessarily.
Just because someone with your identity has a different experience, doesn’t mean they’re appropriating.
I see this argument used against CAFAB MTF people (CAMAB MTFs say ‘you can’t be mtf, that’s appropriating my identity’), so I primarily have that in mind, but it basically holds true for all gender and sexual identities.
Just throwin’ that out there.
I can't believe this is still being debated.
14 April 2011
What is it that makes a person a trans woman?
I have some difficulty answering this question, in light of the debate going on over Kinsey Hope’s refusal to post pictures of a person who describes herself as a Female to Male to Female trans woman at Fuck Yeah Cute Trans Chicks. That is, this person was assigned female at birth, at some point transitioned to male, and then transitioned again, a process which some people would describe as “de-transitioning”, to female. I say I have difficulty with answering it, not because I am having difficulty forming an opinion on the matter, but because I know that voicing my opinion on this matter is likely to cause a great deal of consternation, and to cause some people to form mistaken impressions of my beliefs and my character.
By my own definition, a trans person is someone who desires to move, has moved, or is moving their gender identity, appearance, expression, or behavior from one point on the gender continuum to another. It’s a very simple definition, and covers just about everyone, regardless of where you started, or where you’ve gone in the meanwhile.
However, underlying this definition is the assumption that the transition is genuine, and permanent. We do not generally refer to people who believe at some point in their lives that they are transsexual or transgender, but then change their minds about that fact, as transgender or transsexual. We refer to these people as simply having been wrong about what they thought they wanted.
It is self-evident that someone who has traveled any distance at all along the gender continuum has some experience of having done so, but it does not mean that they have the experience of a person who undertakes such a move with the understanding that they are truly fulfilling a genuine need to permanently resolve a conflict, whether between their psychology and physiology, or between their perception of themselves and the perception of them held by others.
We do not exist in a world where the sex of a transsexual person’s body can be completely changed so as to make one’s body identical to a cissexual person’s body. We have never had this technology, and while it may become possible to do so at some distant point in the future if humanity manages to survive that long, we certainly do not have it in the present day. I find it difficult in the extreme to acknowledge the validity of having transitioned from female to male, and then describing a further transition from male back to the original female as an experience that is remotely similar to my own transition from male to female.
This is not an argument over socialization. I will not draw distinctions between women due to how they were treated by others. I think that socialization arguments are ultimately flawed arguments, just as flawed as the essentialist arguments that state that the presence of primary sexual reproductive gross anatomy of one type or another determines one’s gender in a failproof manner, and that both of these types of arguments are nothing more than thinly veiled attempts to divide gendered people against each other. No person’s experience of their gender is universal, and a person who was indoctrinated into one gender does not necessarily belong to that gender solely as a result of that indoctrination.
There is, however, a different essentialist argument that is being made and confirmed by science. The more we understand about transsexuality, the more it becomes clear that transsexual people are, in fact, born this way, for what ever reason, by whatever mechanism, and that this is a natural variation of humanity. Some people just end up with neurology that doesn’t match their physiology, and for those of us who cannot resolve this conflict well enough to live our lives to our satisfaction because of this transition our bodies to the extent that modern science will allow, because no psychological therapy ever devised has ever been shown to be effective, while physical transition is shown to have an effectiveness in the high-90’s percentile.
A person who is transsexual generally transitions through whatever means they are able to acquire and to whatever extent they can afford because they simply cannot bear to function to a satisfactory capacity while being perceived by themselves or others as a gender which they know themselves not to be. Transition is not, like the criticisms from the radical feminist community of trans people often state, a suit of clothes, to be put on or discarded at will.
If we recognize gender “choice” as authentic gender identity, then the validity of the very existence of transsexual/transgender people is in question, and we reify the notion that all gender is merely a construction of sociology, an attitude which has already been proven conclusively false by a preponderance of scientific findings.
Given the state of the science, I find it impossible to conclude that a person born with anatomy that we recognize as female, who has a gender identity that one must agree is quite likely firmly female, given that the individual has experience of having lived as both female and male, is in fact a transsexual woman. As a result, I believe that this person has no place in spaces which are dedicated to the needs of those who transition from male to female.
Having said the above, I will further state that I believe that Kinsey should relent and publish the picture at Fuck Yeah Cute Trans Chicks.
I say this, because I am no omnipotent Goddess to be Final Arbiter of What Is and What Is Not. I may be entirely wrong about everything I just said, and because that is always the Truth, and because the person in question may authentically perceive herself as a trans woman no matter what I think of the idea or of her, I say, “Bring it, Sister!”
In the end, I think it hardly likely that there’s suddenly going to be a flood of FtMtF women overrunning us all…there’s few enough people who ever even consider that they are or might be transsexual or transgender that I feel fairly confident that we need not fear such a thing, so the question I have to ask myself is, “Where is the harm?”
The only answer I can generate to that question is that some trans women may feel threatened or marginalized in some fashion by the placement of a FtMtF person on the same level as themselves. They may have good reason to feel that way, but I think that to err on the side of compassion for this individual is a sound decision, and I would urge us all to remain open to new ideas, and to love as we also wish to be loved.
In Solidarity and Squalor…XOXO, Gemma
Inexplicable transition-related feelings
Inexplicable won’t stop me from trying to explain.
For the last few months, I’ve felt really uncomfortable with being called a man or a guy or masculine or male or anything binary like that. Sometimes, I’m comfortable with it. Sometimes, I want it. Sometimes, I’m afraid to say that I yearn for it, because I spend so much time fighting for my right to not be called those things.
I fought so long when I first came out with everyone I knew about being referred to as a woman. I educated my friends about pronouns and how to talk about binary transgender men. I felt like I never identified as a woman. I wanted nothing to do with womanly things in terms of my gender being related to them. More and more, I look back on the time I spent in this world as a woman willingly and unwillingly. More and more, I miss this experience. I sometimes wish I could experience it again but with the same lens with which I see the world now.
I sometimes feel like, “Gosh, I wish I could be who I am now but more womanly.” I’m not using womanly as synonymous as femme or feminine. I consider them completely different concepts, and I feel like many masculine women would agree with me on this (please correct me if I’m wrong though). Now, I’m not saying I want to re/de-transition. That would be a very difficult mental process for me, but I also would never shame anyone for feeling that way or acting on it.
The thing is, I’m not entirely sure what I’m saying. I love the way my body looks and feels so much now. I have never felt so good and so confident before in my life. Never have I felt so at peace and at home in my existence, and I’m sure Harry Benjamin would be really happy to hear me say that. However, I also really miss being a woman. When I was a woman willingly, I was so, so proud of that. I can’t be proud of that now. That’s not who I am anymore. Being proud of that now is simply illogical (why would I be proud to be a woman if I’m not one?) and appropriative (how sexist would that be if I were exalting in women’s marginalization under the guise of feminism?).
Perhaps my gender is doing that thing it always does when it’s like “Hey, Ira, remember that hot second when you thought I was going to plant roots? Well, that hot second is over now.” Perhaps this is the fluidity I’m always babbling about that should not be hindered nor shamed? I still feel uncomfortable with being called she, but I am more and more okay with gender neutral pronouns (I prefer they over ze for aesthetic reasons).
All I know is this: the full moon is enticing my gender tide and I’m not medically de-transitioning.
Taking testosterone and passing as female
So I’m multigender, which poses a problem when it comes to my body.
To put it simply, I have days when I need to bind and days when I love my boobs, days when I wear dresses and days when I wear baggy t-shirts, days when I want to be called “she” and days when I will slap you if you do.
But one thing is the same no matter what the day: I want to be on T.
I don’t know why. I don’t want the body or facial hair — I would shave it all off. I don’t want to operate in the world as a guy — I prefer interacting with people the way females are socialized to in America. I do want a more muscular, angular body, but I could get that by working out. I wouldn’t mind a deeper voice, but I could live without it. I certainly don’t want the acne or the male-pattern balding. So why would I make my life so much harder by going on testosterone? Why would I make myself have to shave my entire body, work against the changes in order to operate in the world as a female?
The only way I can describe it is that there is a voice in my head — not even in my head, in my soul — telling me that this is how I’m meant to be. The voice doesn’t care about gender roles, about contradictions, about days when I want to wear a dress and be called “she.” I’m supposed to have a testosterone-based system. That’s what the voice says.
The question is, should I listen?
In all my experience with the trans* community, I have never — never — heard about or seen an FAAB person who takes testosterone and operates in the world as a female. Nor have I heard of an FAAB person who takes testosterone and wears dresses. It is, as far as I know, simply not done.
But for me, being on testosterone is not about how I want to operate in the world. It’s not about the pronouns I want people to use. It’s not about the clothes I want to wear. It’s not about anybody else. It’s about me. How I feel about my body. How I want my body to look. Everything else is irrelevant.
So I think I’m going to listen to that voice. And deal with the rest as it comes.