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ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, LISTEN UP

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW

TIME TO TEACH YOU ASSHOLES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FROGMOUTHS AND OWLS

THIS:

IS A FUCKING OWL

THIS:

IS A FUCKING FROGMOUTH

WHAT’S THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE?

LET ME TELL YOU.

FIRST OF ALL, LOOK AT THE FUCKING BEAK

LOOK AT THESE FUCKING OWL BEAKS

LOOK AT THAT SHIT. MADE TO TEAR FLESH OFF BONES. RIP SHIT APART. RAZE VILLAGES OF VOLES AND MICE TO THE GROUND. FUCKIN’…BADASS. YEAH.

NOW LOOK AT A FROGMOUTH’S BILL (IT’S A BILL MOTHERFUCKER, NOT A BEAK)

LOOK AT HOW COMPLETELY UNTHREATENING THAT SHIT LOOKS. YEAH THEY CAN ALSO EAT MICE AND FROGS BUT THEY HAVE TO BEAT THEM TO DEATH FIRST, THEY CAN’T JUST RIP SHIT APART. THEY PREFER INSECTS (WHICH IS WHY THEY’RE CALLED FROGMOUTHS, BECAUSE THEY CAN OPEN THEIR MOUTHS SUPER WIDE LIKE A FROG JUST TO CATCH INSECTS ALSO THEY SOUND LIKE FROGS, THEY DON’T HOOT OR DO ANY OTHER OWLY NOISES)

JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH NOCTURNAL BIRDS DOESN’T MEAN THIS IS SOMETHING YOU CAN KEEP CONFUSING, INTERNET

FUCK

ANOTHER THING:

FEET

LOOK AT THESE FUCKING TALONS:

FUCK

SHIT

F U CK AND THOSE LAST ONES ARE FROM A SAW-WHET OWL, AKA A TINY FUCKING OWL THAT CAN STILL RIP YOUR FACE OFF

AND NOW FOR THE FROGMOUTHS:

THEY’RE NOT EVEN DIDACTYLIC I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK GUYS THOSE AREN’T THREATENING OR MUSCULAR AT ALL, THOSE FEET AREN’T TOOLS OF DESTRUCTION THEY’RE JUST THERE.

NOT TO MENTION OTHER DIFFERENCES LIKE BODY SHAPE AND WING SHAPE AND FLIGHT PATTERN AND FEEDING AND BREEDING AND TAXONOMIC ORDER I MEAN SON OF A BITCH GUYS JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH IN THE FAMILY OF AVES DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN GO CONFUSING A HERON WITH A DUCK

LOOK AT THIS FROGMOUTH