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the friendzone is so racialized
like thinking back, i haven’t been claimed to friendzone many boys. why? because boys don’t want me like that. i am black and grew up in predominantly white areas. the whole friend zone spiel is this:
i do everything for you
i’m your friend
i am soooo nice to you
i stick around and listen to you cry about boys who are mean to you
i do homework for you
or bend over backwards
do things you didn’t ask me to
try to be “nice” and “please” in ways that are above
and beyond what many women consider average.
but i say friend zone is racialized cause how many boys are doing this for Black girls? bending over backwards, doing all the nice things, looking like they have to “cherish” them as the gateway to the ass (and let’s be clear, all nice guys want is ASS). and it’s funny because as a young black girl, there were so many white boys i was friends with but also liked but i was never that option. being black means not an option to fawn over and bend over for and cry over. just not. and i have never felt really friend zoned or entitled to those boys time or ass. but i felt sad that perception didn’t allow them to see what’s inside of me.
men who get “friendzoned” get done so because these women see who you are. but also, white men complaining about it make me laugh. white supremacy made you put a white woman on the pedestal. as the best, the purest, the most beautiful. which means she is the most sought after. which means you have to compete. and you’re mad that you put these women on a pedestal and now they have options lol.
and when black boys complain about friendzone, they always blaming black women. that cartoon with the black girl wanting a girl who don’t want him. and then he get rich and she pregnant with a dead beat babby daddy. her fault.
these men are also cowards. they always blame the women and never confront the “mean guys” the “bad boys” the “thugs”. lol. sooo… you can’t even defend women against assholes and they should be spreading their legs for you? right. you can’t even tell these men they treat women poorly, but you mad at us.
at the end of the day tho, it’s white boys who complain about it most. and it is tied to the white supremacist myth of white womens virtue and beauty and worthiness. and they believed it. now they got options. you dote on these women only to get your dick wet. they know it. and black boys doing it is placing white supremacist standards onto themselves and onto other women. to get their dick wet.
also, men around the world feel entitled to black pussy. we literally weren’t rapeable up until like what, 50 years ago? by law, literally. we couldn’t be raped. so friendzone? we OWE the pussy. and if not, then we are more than just women who friendzoned you. we are a lot of things way worse than that. it’s some bullshit. but i’ve been thinking about how this friendzone with men experience isn’t one that fully captures mine or probably many other black girls and instead we deal with a whole different set of expectations and ramifications when we don’t meet them. that are much more lasting and hurtful than being a girl who “friendzones” dudes.