LET ME TEACH YOU A THING ABOUT LOVEBUGS.

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THEY SOUND CUTE. THEY ARE NOT. THEY COME TO FLORIDA EVERY SUMMER. THEY ARE SIMILAR TO HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS IN THAT THEY GET IN YOUR WAY, THEY ARE SUPER SLOW, AND ALL THEY DO IS FORNICATE.

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OH WELL “THAT’S NOT TOO BAD” 

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THINK AGAIN WHEN YOU’RE SLOUGHING THEIR GUTS OFF YOUR CAR, BUDDY

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SO I JUST GOT HOME AND DECIDED TO TAKE A COLD SHOWER

BUT NO FLORIDA IS SO FUCKING HOT AT 10 AT NIGHT THAT THERES NOT ANY FUCKING COLD WATER IN THE WHOLE HOUSE

DEAR CANADA

SEND ME AN ICEBERG

SINCERELY,

THE PENIS OF AMERICA

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