procrastination station

Hey, Tumblr. I don’t do these posts very often, and it’s been a while, so have some Flash game recommendations to help you while away those hours when you really should be getting on with all that other stuff you need to be getting on with. All my non-work time recently has been spent on fic, FTL, and getting drunk and talking about shipping with Tumblr user byzantienne, so these aren’t totally up-to-date, but whatever. I liked them. All links go to Kongregate.

Knightmare Tower - my Flash discovery of the month, and a perfect example of how to make a really good casual game that is definitely still a casual game. At root this is a ‘buy upgrades and try to fly as far as possible before you crash’ game, a sub-genre I normally find really dull, but this one has a unique mechanic involving bouncing off cute monsters in order to propel yourself further up a tower. Smooth difficulty curve, and incredibly aesthetically satisfying - like Bejeweled, all the sounds are right, all the colours are right, it’s just fun to play. Also, there’s no obvious upgrade sequence - I was picking upgrades more or less at random, which in some games is fatal, and I still made it to the end in a perfectly respectable amount of time. Highly recommended.

Race the Sun - maybe not for everyone, this is a very fast-paced racing game with incredibly stripped-down, minimalist graphics. You pilot a sort of glorified paper plane through a landscape of towers, picking up points and occasionally power-ups. Not a game you’d want to play for a long time, but great for two-minute bursts to wake you up before tackling a real job. It’s a double espresso, rather than a large latte with sprinkles. Has cool music. Try to blink as little as possible.

Super Adventure Pals - I’ve never watched Adventure Time, but it’s pretty clear where this game got its visual influences. It’s an incredibly polished and fairly sizeable platformer, though, which starts off very easy and ramps up the difficulty nicely as you go along. It’s also incredibly forgiving, which is important for a casual game - health potions practically fall out of the sky, there’s no hard time limit (although you get a score bonus for completing levels in good time, you don’t have to), and death only ever knocks you back a short distance. You won’t end up screaming in fury, but the latter levels are tricky enough to give even experienced platformer types (platformerers?) a workout. Also, you ride a giraffe.

Epic Coaster - one of these Canabalt-style platformers where you can’t stop moving, you just have to try and time your jumps correctly. These live or die on how responsive the controls are, and I think this one is low on hair-pulling and high on satisfaction when you get it right. The sort of game where you inadvertently hunch closer and closer to the screen the longer you play.

Innkeeper - build a hotel, furnish it, cater to the whims of the world’s most capricious and illogical guests while following a slightly bizarre storyline about demons or something. Very well put together. Eats time. Stupidly addictive. I think I can best give a flavour by posting this: 

UA: NO IRONING BOARD? I’M OPPRESSED
PT: I DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO GO TO A GYM
PT: AND YET
UA: AND YET I FUCKING WENT
UA: “I DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO GO TO A LAUNDRY”
PT: “I USUALLY LOVE DENTAL”
UA: Yes, we understand, just go to the breakfast buffet and shut up, I already set this thing to no rednecks, why do you keep coming back
PT: I spend days, days, dragging my approval rating up by .1 increments
PT: then a professional swimmer visits and isn’t happy
PT: so it drops by 10
UA: Yes, and you’re fucked.
PT: TEN APPROVAL POINTS
PT: THAT’S LIKE FOUR YEARS’ WORK
UA: I make no apologies. You were the one who introduced me to Cluesweeper.
PT: jsdjfkdffdsf
PT: consider our account… settled
PT: now go to the Waikiki room on the 5th floor, I’ve set it up specially
UA: I love Ironing Board!
PT: it has everything a Taz desires
UA: AMENITIES I ENJOY: 
UA: Curtains
UA: Microwave
UA: Dungeon
PT: refrigerator, microwave, leukaemia