First Grade.

In the first grade, I was given an assignment where I was supposed to keep a journal of stories or events in my little first-grade life. It was a basic activity, meant to teach me about writing coherently, punctuation, word spacing, capitalization, all that jazz. Turns out, I didn’t learn much, because I continued to make the same mistakes throughout the journal. For three months, I called my friend Morgan “Mogan.” Three months. My first grade teacher obviously took great care in reading our journals.

I wrote about typical first grade concepts, like math:

Tens, Ones, and Hundreds

Tens, ones, and hundreds. How I love tens, ones, and hundreds. Because there hundreds of people in the world. Also because of place-value. Also because on the hudredth day school I had alot of fun. I love math, sometimes math is inportent because you figer out stuf and be smart. Also with MONNY! Without math we would not have toys to play with, and we would starve to deth without math.

I wrote about my soccer games:

My Soccer Game

Yesterday I played a soccer game, I played midfield and striker. We played agenst The Nitros. It was tiring but fun. You know what I got two more games this month! I am also poopted. Because when you play midfilder you have to run up and down up and down the fild, also because I had a game on Saterday and I went to Amy’s house.

I wrote books about my friends:

Tomorrow

Chapter One: “Ooh! What’s rong Amber?” I said “Insider recess comeon it’s not that bad” said Amy, Krista, and Mogon. “Oo alrite I ges so. Good so lets play Bingo.” I said. “Mabye tomorrow” said Amy. BOOM “That is werd right when I said tomorrow it tundered.” Because tomorrow is the seacret word to the sea, and when you say it it thunders!”

Chapter Two: “Bingo!” said Krista and Amy “for the therd time you have won. It allso is anoying.” I said “Yah it is no fun to” said Mogan. “How do you know Mogan” said Megan “maybe you think so but wood about the ones hoo have not won at all”

Chapter Three: On the weekend I thot about what happend on Wednesday. This is what I thot. Tomorrow, friends, bingo, others. “What happend?” I said to Amy (Amy came over) on Sunday I was stil thinking. it was raining. “Hmmmmmmm” then it hit me. “tomorrow” I said.

Chapter Four: BOOM! I ran to school. I wend to Mrs. Landeck’s classroom and said “tomorrow” it did not thunder. I found out that when it raining it only thunders.

Apparently, I also fancied giving life lessons about thunder and the importance of letting other people win. What baffles me is the fact that I spelled “tomorrow” and “Wednesday” perfectly, yet got “maybe” and “who” wrong. The mind of a seven year old befuddles all, I suppose.

I wrote fantastical stories about animals:

Gigi the Soccer Player

Once thar was a tiny puppy named Gigi, she was only two months old. “I am never gona be a soccer player” said Gigi. “Do not worry, I think someday you will be as good as Mia dog Hamm” said her mother. Mrs. Becky Landeck adoped Gigi. One day Gigi was invited to attend a soccer party for Anna ’s birthday and she lerned to play soccer. Also she was as good as Mia dog Hamm.

I also wrote about the harsh realities of life.

Crazy

Right now at Amy’s house I am going crazy. Because my sister is being anoying, Amy is running around with nothing to do. Being crazy is NOT fun. Well I have to go, bye, bye.

Looking back, I did not spend very much time at poor Amy’s house. In fact, I think I only went there once. I actually spent much of my time at home. However, I was convinced that I was going to be a singer/artist/author/movie star/fashion designer, so I was taking extensive care to prepare for my future. In fact, I even came up with tracks for my first album (I say “tracks,” but in reality all it was was a list of songs I intended to write at a later date, when I would be better at rhyming). My songs would cover a variety of relatable, popular themes, such as love, heartbreak, loss, and having fun.

1. Love Will Never End
2. Rocken and a Rollen Girls
3. Juppin
4. My Heart is Gon
5. Hugs on You
6. Where is my Book?
7. Love is in the Air
8. Care for Each Other
9. Runnin Around the World
10. Up Down All Around
11. Winnie the Pooh
12. Step Into IT!

I was so prepared for the music business.

Eventually I think I came to realize that I was not as popular as I had thought I was. No need to pity me though, because I made up my own friends. I was part of the oh-so-prestigious “Club Cool.” That’s right.

Club Cool!

Club Belonger: Anna

Club Members: Annie, Laney, Jenny, Summer, Coco Dokoo, Pooh.

Club Rules: No giants, no boys, no pooping, have fun!

Materials: markers, crayons, animals, people, and cloths.

I was the club belonger, meaning the club belonged to me. It was mine. I was so cool. Laney and Jenny are actually real people – but I’m pretty sure they never had the knowledge they were part of a secret club. The existence of Coco Dokoo remains a mystery.