Festivities

Me: Since her urine was really festive…

Dr. C: Wait, festive? That is not a term I’ve heard to describe urine before. What was festive, the Urinalysis or the drug screen?

Me: Well, I meant all the things lighting up in red on her UA like a Christmas tree, but now that you mention it, the UDS was pretty festive too. 

Dr. C: I would say that cocaine and opiates is definitely festive.

Me: That’s probably why her urine was so dirty. The bacteria were all strung out on coke.