It Wasn't in the Routine (Valdaya)

A/N: because it’s 4am and my feelings still won’t let me be.

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It wasn’t in the routine. He was meant to pull, and she was meant to rise and snap back up like every other time, but he just….

Tonight was the last night he’d be able to dance with her in this studio, maybe the last time he’d dance with her ever, though something twisted in his chest that made it hard to breathe each time he thought about it.

She was lying there, in his arms, gorgeous neck bared to him, and waiting for the pressure against her back to let her know he wanted her to move, and he realized he never wanted to move.

This was what he wanted, god she was all he wanted, and she was leaving, off to bigger and brighter and better things even though he needed her like air in his lungs. How was he supposed to do this without her? Any of it. He just…

There were so many feelings inside him, so many things he was afraid he’d never get to say to her, so many ways he’d never get to touch her.

His eyes skated down that bared throat to her sharp, defined collar bones and he wanted to taste  her, just once, to just once feel the heat of her skin against his for more than three seconds at a time. 

His knees went weak with how much he wanted it. And he had to do something or he’d burst into a thousand sharp, jagged pieces of himself, right there on live television.

He brushed his lips across her temple and she leaned into it like he belonged there, and everything in him was screaming at him to kiss, and take, and own, wrap himself up inside her so he could stay with her always, and he couldn’t do that, but she was everything  for him now, and he needed-

He spun her out of his arms up onto her feet as he held her waist, and he stayed on his knees, aching and feeling cracked wide open, naked and vulnerable to her knowing gaze.  He wanted to set his forehead against her stomach, wrap his arms around her legs and hold her, keep her, beg her, touch her, give her everything that he had to give.

God, fuck, he could give her everything…anything. Would if she’d let him.

He’d stop the world from spinning just for her if she asked him to. 

He’d give her the world.