Top Ten Myths About Introverts.
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
Enjoying some peace and quiet.
Not frantically busy.
Stuck making small talk, and unable to escape politely.
A nice, normal, sociable person. Never surprises you with anything weird.
A boisterous person who may be very nice, but who is somewhat exhausting to spend time with. Usually not too deep, but fun.
Someone who makes sure that you’re never alone.
Someone who understands that you’re not rejecting them when you need to be alone.
Good manners, n.
Making sure people aren’t left all by themselves. Filling in any silences in a conversation.
Not bothering people, unless it’s necessary, or they approach you. (Sometimes you can bother people you know well, but make sure they aren’t busy first.)
One of those who like to read. Moody loners. Be careful not to tick them off; some of them are serial killers.
One who shows a perfectly natural restraint and caution when meeting new people. One who appreciates solitude. Often, one who enjoys reading and has a philosophical turn of mind.
To go out, v.
Requires at least two people, and the more the better. Constant chatter, loud music, sports, crowds, and food consumption are all fun components of going out.
Can be done alone or with others. Enjoyable if there’s some point to it; i.e., in order to see a band, a movie, a play, or perhaps to have a stimulating discussion with one or two close friends.
Having to read, write, listen, or concentrate on anything.
Being pestered every five minutes about something trivial, and not allowed to concentrate.
Being an introvert...
My problem with extraverts is that they seem to think that just because I’m quiet I am insecure. Which is horribly false. I might have off days, but for the most part I love my overly sarcastic, curvy bodied, moody, artsy, feminist-y, sometimes creepy, damn self. I am not shy, I just have nothing I wish to say to you. Just because I am polite does not mean I’m going to let someone walk all over me.
Plus, I got an ass that don’t quit.
… to Myers-Briggs Type Indicator I am ENFJ
- very expressed extravert (89%)
- slightly expressed intuitive personality (%12)
- slightly expressed feeling personality (6%)
- slightly expressed judging personality (11%)
… ladies ;)
An Introvert's Love Letter to Solitude
Solitude you are my serenity, my sanctuary, and my saving grace. Without you I would be lost in life continuing whirlwind of noise. I would be blown from one place to the next, easily forgetting where I’ve been and where it is I’m going. You are my stability. You are my vast wilderness of endless possibility. In your arms I can view life from afar, seeing how the pieces fit into place. You show me that our darkest hours are merely what make our greatest moment shine brightest. You are sobering; I begin to see how short this life is. It is a bittersweet moment. Bringing to my attention both the sadness and the joy that will come at my end. I will be sad to leave, but happy to have succeeded to the close of life. Oh Solitude be my redemption, and carry me away. I will sour on the wings of my sweet Solitude, take my past the worries and the fears, take me to a place where you will dry my tears.
One of the many social conventions that has always always baffled me, is the stigma against introversion. Particularly relative to Friday nights, where this attitude is more prevalent. So I’m gonna rant for a bit.
Why are so many extroverts bothered with the concept that not everyone finds social engagement to be the peak of fun? I understand that we don’t see eye-to-eye, I mean, I can’t see what’s fun about going to a bar to be surrounded by a bunch of shallow vapid noisy jackasses. But I can AT LEAST accept that many people make that decision ON PURPOSE. My brain isn’t wired to understand HOW they find it appealing, but I don’t have a problem with alternate brain wired people doing what they find appealing. Diff’rent strokes AMIRITE?
So why the extrovert evangelism? ?!
I get it, in the context of companionship invitationals. I understand that. ‘The more, the merrier!’ Someone to shout “WHAT?” at back and forth and eventually pretend you heard what they said. Energy vampires need a victim.
But in general, the attitude against people who aren’t clubbing and getting wasted and partying til they puke… Is a society-wide attitude of smug superiority and a bizarro established ideal. WHY?
Is it partially some complete inability to accept dissenting views, therefore ‘my opinion must be correct’? Both sides can criticize and label the other, but why does THAT side win the prize of being acceptable? The logical fact that extroverts are naturally louder about their exploits?
Maybe some overcompensation to balance out appearing inferior to the other half of the population? That one goes both ways; I see many introverts try to appear “cool” to the extroverted social conventions by making self-depreciating comments to justify introvert nature (“ugh I’m such a loser, I’m reading a book”), or going out and faking having fun. I know because I’ve done it many times myself.
But the partying party must be somewhat self-aware in its objective inferiority. Anyone can accept the fact that brain-engaging activities are objectively BETTER THAN drinking away brain cells. If you disagree with that, you don’t deserve your human body container. Obviously, industries that cater to a lifestyle of unhealthy degradation (see: alcohol/bars, cigarettes, etc) would never survive if everyone thought logically. Anything bad for you is going to have to trick you into thinking its preferable. That is my theory of why good & cool rarely overlap, if ever. It’s a phenomenon more than a theory, really. A human behavior that is as old as humanity. We learn such bizarro socially acceptable reverse-logic at a young age and somehow it often sticks. Apply it to other scenarios. Learning. Bullying. Junk food. Drugs. Religion! Uncomfortable shoes and fashion. Corrective orthodontia. Glasses! (I hid my glasses in elementary school because I got made fun of for wearing them. Not seeing the chalkboard was easier than being harassed for having ‘four eyes.’ What the hell?)
(woah, back to the main subject.)
Since I’m posting this to the internet on a friday night, I am absolutely preaching to the choir. OWN your introversion, people! Do nerdy things alone if you want to. And don’t talk shit about your introverted activities! That only legitimizes the false perception that your decision is inferior.