I really just want to start a band named Oedipus and the Motherfuckers

What if each time you wished someone would call you beautiful, you told someone else they are beautiful

Last Christmas I mentioned to my mom that I had gone through our living room for whatever reason and I had read the tags on a couple presents and knew they were mine because they had my name on them.

I walk down tonight to get a snack and I peek again and she fucking numbered them so I couldn’t know. Everyone in the house has a number and we don’t get to know what our number is.

A+ works there, mom. Was not expecting that.

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