The Personal Ultimatum, Do You Have One?

By: Eden Hansom

Alas, I was having a conversation with Ms. Cherry Sunday night and the topic of ultimatums came up. As we were getting settled into our late night conversations she started to ask me what was up. In true fashion, when I DON’T want to hear her righteous ASS I tend to beat around the bush with stuff because I know she’s not the type to dig. After I spit out my n*gglet haikus, and her not giving two shits about it, we were talking about life in general. Recently, her friend recently got engaged and he she was excited for her. It MUST be engagement season because that’s about the 5th person I know of this year getting married. As we were talking, she was telling me about her friend’s relationship that led up to the engagement. What I LOVED about this story is that she was with this amazing guy. But she didn’t know if it would last or not. So, to not beat around the bush, she gave herself an ultimatum. They were together for awhile, and she wanted to get married. If he didn’t pop the question by New Year’s, she was out. No pressure, just HER OWN PERSONAL GOALS. Needless to say, she doesn’t need it anymore because she got the engagement she wanted.

So it got me thinking about how I operate. Not to say that I’m comparing my life to someone else’s that I don’t even know, but it got me thinking on setting personal ultimatums of my own. 

Ironically though, I think I’ve always set up personal ultimatums for myself, but never knew that they were. I just thought it was me getting bored with a situation and then moving on. Having ultimatums for yourself is a genius way to get what you want, and if you don’t, it’s a great way to see where you should end situations that you DON’T want to end up in. Instead of giving the person that you’re dating or in a relationship with an ultimatum it’s best to give yourself one. It takes the pressure off that person to do what you want them to do. And let’s face it, if you do give them an ultimatum and they jump, whose to say if it’s truly genuine or not? 

Giving yourself your own personal timeline let’s you set up goals that work BEST for you. It eliminates the time that you would be wasting and focusing on things that have your life run smoother. Now looking at me personally, I do have some ultimatums of my own that I’ve set for myself. I like to get my way but if it doesn’t happen for me, I’ll be cool with it……eventually.