Just the two of us

Today is the last day full day before meeting our babies on Wednesday. The last day of just D & I. The last day of quiet in our home. The last day before we become parents.

I’m getting goosebumps just writing that. I mean, really thinking about what that means… it’s surreal.

Both the privilege and incredible responsibility of being a parent is not lost on me. And a couple days ago, all those emotions came flooding out.

I cried and cried and cried some more (Some of those tears might have been because the 49ers lost the Superbowl. Seriously, boo-hoo). The magnitude of what’s about to happen & how our lives are about to change, hit me like an electric shock. The thrill, joy, & terror of it all coursed through me all at once. 

I thought about the major surgery I’m about to have… How will that effect breastfeeding? How difficult will the recovery be while trying to care for not only myself, but two brand new babies?

I wondered about the health of my babies and prayed that they will be ok.

I asked myself if I’ll be a good mother. Am I really up for this?

So many thoughts were racing through my mind. It completely overwhelmed me. And drained me.

I’m not sure that I’ll sleep a wink tonight with the magnitude of February 6th in my thoughts.

I don’t know the answers to all the questions I have.

But I do know this: I will love Bryce & Lyla with every fiber of my being. And there won’t be one single day that they question that. 

Here we go, soon to be a family of four. Doubled in size by Wednesday just after noon. I can’t wait to introduce my little loves.

___________________________

P.S. Any tips on introducing our two little furball cats to the babies are welcome. This of all things, is also causing me some anxiety. I want my cats to still feel like part of the family.