“A lot of times people make excuses for old people’s racism, as if racism is just a product of a bygone era and it will die out when the old people do...I always think that if my old people have to suffer racism, your old people should get called on it.”

—Old People and Racism

“Growing old is terrible. They say these are supposed to be the 'Golden Years' -- but the only thing Golden about them is my pee.”

—A patient’s grumpy Grandpa, in reply to my simple “And how are you doing today?”

Cranquis: So let me guess, Elmer -- after the horse kicked you in the leg, you got up and kept working for the rest of the day?
70-something Farmer Fudd (with a broken ankle): Ah-yup.
Cranquis *admiring grin*: Sir, you are one tough cookie.
Mrs. Fudd: I'M TOUGHER THAN HE IS! THAT HORSE FELL ON ME ONCE, AND I STILL GOT UP THE NEXT DAY AND COOKED CHRISTMAS DINNER BY MYSELF!