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Something I truly hate
When people in W.Europe assume just because I come from Eastern Europe I came there to work as a sex worker or marry a rich man there. I’m seriously sick of fetishising Eastern European women as women with mad sexual appetite and women who want to have sex and pose naked all the time. So sick of it. You should see how their looks at you change the moment you speak Slavic language. They don’t know if it is Russian, Polish, Bosnian or Bulgarian, but they know it is Slavic and they know Slavic live in the East.
Tons of times I heard Western Europeans saying “We’ll go to Russia/Serbia/Romania/any Eastern European country, we’re gonna get hot E.European chicks”. So disgusting. Dear people who fetishise Eastern European women, we don’t sit in our homes waiting for you to come and love us, as if our Eastern European men were “ruthless animals who come back home drunk” and can’t love us. Just stop.
You know you're Eastern European when...
You know you’re EASTERN EUROPEAN when…..
1. Your neighbour comes over every day uninvited, for coffee.
2. You start
your day with a cup of coffee and a cigarette
3.You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the airport.
4.You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think its normal.
5.All your children have nick names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
6.You know someone with 20 kids
7.You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
8.You have lace curtains.
9.You have lace tablecloths.
10.You have rugs covering every inch of your house.
11.Your mom tells you you’re too skinny even though your 30 pounds overweight.
12.You have curtains hanging across every doorway.
13.You know someone that married his girlfriend of 2 months.
14.Your house is full of medicine from your old country and it’s probably all illegal here.
15.You and your friends have ever been kicked out of a restaurant or recreational park for being too loud or rowdy.
16.You dont know how to use a dishwasher b/c u are the dishwasher.
17.You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
18.You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
19.Your dad ever butchered a pig or lamb.
20.Your mom ever chased you with a rolling pin or a broom telling you to stop so that she could hit you.
21.You’re twenty years old and your parents are trying to send you back to your country to get you married cause your old.
22.Getting married at 18 is normal.
23.Getting married at 16 actually happens.
24.You don’t use measuring cups when cooking.
25.If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
26.When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking to a distant cousin.
27.Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
28. It’s “normal” if your wedding has 600 people.
29.You dont know half the people at your wedding cuz your parents invited them.
30.Your family owns a coffee grinder..and a nut grinder
31.Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American guy.
32.You work out six days a week, but somehow you dad whoops your ass in like five seconds after he comes home from a thirteen hour day from the bakery / factory / food business.
33.You own a leather jacket.
34.You drive a nicer car than your parents.
35.Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
36.You have all brand new appliances in your kitchen but your mom cooks in the basement with the stove from your old house.
37.You are prohibited from speaking English in you own home.
38.Your parents have gone on vacation ONCE and it was to your home country.
39.Your church has a fully loaded bar
40.If you are a girl and not married by the age of 20 you are an old maid
41.You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup
42.The head of a pig with an apple in its mouth is looked upon as a delicacy
43.Your parents still prefer to buy cassettes instead of CDs.
44.Your friends’ parents talk to you like they’re YOUR PARENTS too.
45.You are adored the first 10 years of your life, then treated like a complete idiot until you get married.
46.Your car costs more than your college education
47.You drive a Honda (or, in the EXTREME worse case a Nissan), and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit
48.Your parents have computer “experience” for 8 years already on the resume, yet they been in US for only 4…
49.You’re actually nodding and laughing at most of these things
50.You’re a proud Eastern European and pass this on to your European friends..
51.There are no vegetarians in your family because they have all died off
52.You have been able to buy cigarettes or alcohol for family members as early as age 7.
53. Even better you‘re 6 and your father sends you out to buy him cigaretts and beer.
54. You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name.
55.Your parents tell you that they walked to school in 7feet of snow with no shoes on.
56. A loaf of bread is eaten for lunch every day.
57. you take your shoes off when you enter the house, and every
family member has his/her own slippers (plus some extra for the guests)
58. your mother tells you not to sit close to TV, and not to use
cell phones, because you‘ll get a brain tumor.
59. You had to share a room until you were 21.
60. your mother tells you not to sit on the concrete slabs, or your balls/ovaries are going to freeze.
61. your mother threatens you with “oh, just wait til ur father gets home”.
62. You begin and end most sentences with a curse word.
63. Your father refers to all politicians as “scum” and “criminals”.
64. You know how to party with the family.
65. You have 20 varieties of tea and 10 varieties of tea biscuits, so when your freinds come over you apologize for not having any soda or candy.
66. You go to an international deli and feel bad for the English speaking person because they look like they have no idea what’s going on.
67. You have home-made wine….
68. …that you’re proud of and serve at parties. You’re always looking for a ways to “add” to the recipe.
69. Even if you’re doing everything right, you STILL think the cops are ALWAYS out to get you, and they’ll find a reason.
70. You’re the only one in the room laughing, because you know all this is true!
Growing up in Eastern Europe
Means you didn’t grow up with Disney. When you see Disney cartoons they don’t bring you back to childhood. Our childhood are Bolek and Lolek, Pat i Mat, Gustav and other cartoons from Czechoslovakia or other socialist/communist countries. And they are 80 times better than Disney btw.