Kanye West Gets A Letter From MADD
It was on Mothers Against Drunk Driving stationary and everything. This was serious.
He was standing in his kitchen. He read over the letter again.
“All we ask is that you consider the young people that look to you as a role model…”
Kanye West had never felt like a role model before. He rapped for himself, for his own joy and personal gain. So many people had spat on his career… He never thought that anyone— let alone America’s fickle youth— would look up to him.
Kanye West stuck the letter to his fridge. He drank a glass of ice-cold water and looked out the window over his sink. He rapped quietly to himself, trying out the new line. “I was drinking earlier, now I’m gonna call a cab.”
It didn’t have the same ring to it. But Kanye had to do it. The children of America were counting on him.
Drunk Driving Poem
I went to a party, Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn’t drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I’d get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn’t see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
“The other guy is drunk,” Mom,
And now I’m the one who will pay.
I’m lying here dying, Mom…
I wish you’d get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I’ll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn’t drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn’t think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I’m feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don’t think it’s fair.
I’m lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put “Daddy’s Girl” on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I’m becoming very scared.
Please don’t cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you,
you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn’t drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
Sir could you please step out of the car. How much Tumblr have you had tonight? We believe you’re driving over the legal limit. Could you breathe into this bag please? Now could you recite the episodes of Doctor Who’s fifth season in reverse order? Sir, please walk along this straight white line that leads to Sherlock’s body.
Sir…Sir, you’ve broken down crying. I’m going to have to take you in.