some shit n' tips about being in college

i know a lot of people freak out about college and as a certified college student of 2+ years, i feel qualified to calm your tits

• so you’re a freshman. this is not a bad thing. you may get crap from everyone on campus, but there is an upside. you’re a freshman. everyone expects you to get lost and ask stupid questions and hold up lines so do it. get on the wrong bus. walk into the wrong classroom. ask strangers for directions. figure out how the washing machines work. (seriously. figure that shit out.) sit with strangers during meals. own it because it’s the one chance you get to look like a complete fool and not be judged.
• speaking of meals, if your college offers a meal plan of any sort, take it. yes, it’s ridiculously overpriced. no, you may not use it to its full potential. but when you’re pulling an all-nighter to study for a test and you just wanna eat the fuck out of some food and nothing is open but the on-campus dining halls, you’ll thank me.
• self-sufficiency starts now. again with the washing machines. learn how to use a washer/dryer. i cannot stress this enough. waiting to get your mom or dad to wash your clothes when you go home once a month sucks. plus they’re not going to be there in the real world so learn to do stuff for yourself asap. which brings me to
• live on campus your first year. i know most colleges require this anyway but it’s for a reason. they don’t just want your money. (all the time. well…) living on campus affords you the opportunities to walk around so you don’t get lost all the fucking time. most campus living situations create a community that is invaluable, especially if you’re from out of town and don’t have any friends left. even just knocking on the doors of your neighbors and asking if they want to go eat with you (*see “benefits of meal plan”) is better than eating alone and your conversations could gain you some new friends.
• don’t worry about fitting in because there is a place for everyone. regardless of whether you go to a small liberal arts college or a huge state university, there is more diversity there than you’ve probably been exposed to before. for most people (most people, i know some of you are special snowflakes), your only friends so far have been people you’ve grown up with that come from the same area/socioeconomic background as you. so if you didn’t fit in during high school, don’t sweat it. you’ll find someone with similar interests to you, i swear. 
• get involved. at the risk of sounding like your mom, join some clubs. do some activities. get outside. (too far?) i know it may sound cliche and overrated but clubs are great for meeting people like you and gaining new experiences. even if it’s a movie club once a week, it’s something to do and it’ll get you out of your room.
• don’t sweat the small stuff. if there’s one thing you take away from this post, i hope it’s this. don’t. sweat. the. small. stuff. so you were late to a class. there will be plenty more. so you failed a test. you’ll get another chance. failed a class? try again. haven’t decided on a major yet? it’s cool, bro. as sad as it is, the society we live in today doesn’t really care what your degree is in as long as you have one. my mom majored in fashion merchandising and now works as an office manager for an international business that teaches companies how to use technology. and guess what, grades don’t matter either! companies that want to hire you won’t give a fuck if you got all As or straight Cs as long as you have a motherfucking degree. so don’t worry about it. 
• everyone’s different. this is a good tip for life in general but for college more specifically, everyone takes a different amount of time to get a degree. my first year of college i was off my rocker because my credit hours put me a semester behind graduating in four years. i don’t really have anything else to say other than “see the post above”. it don’t matter. but i thought i might mention it. 5 years to graduate and proud.
• and finally, learn to work a fucking washing machine, goddamn. i am serious as fuck. this will save your life.