A poem, In Visiting on Exam Week,

I beg and I beg and I beg that I am proud
of what I look like 
of what I represent
Do others need me as much as I have found?
the way the blank stares hit me, I have felt them so cold
I want to know, I want to know
if i matter or if i just age
as other age, and are being with age
and time continues without me, with me, in ongoing relativity 

Do I Matter...?

I ask this because for some time now, I have felt that no one really cares what I do. Well, except one person who I truly appreciate.

It’s just that, it feels like what ever I say, no one wants to pay attention to as if what I say isn’t as important as every one elses, or what I draw isn’t as good as other peoples, or what I listen to is completely crap in your eyes.

Why is it, that no one wants to get to know me? Every time I try to make the effort by speaking first, I get ignored.

It frustrates me so much, I have become depressed over it. I know I shouldn’t care what others think, but in reality, I do care and knowing that I don’t matter to all but 1 or 2 people, it makes me wonder why I even bother being on sites like this if I am always ignored.

Someone I know and respect gets all the attention even though they don’t want or even ask for it but me? No one.

I am ignored even by those who share the same interests. No one ever wants to make the effort to even say hi.

I just want to know that someone actually does care. That the things I say is important. That the songs I listen to are indeed unique. That the pictures I draw are good in your eyes. Is that too much to ask?

Just the acknowledgement that what I say or do actually does have purpose.

If you are one of those people that actually do care, then reblog this. Otherwise, what’s the point of being on a social website like this if no one actually talks to me.

am i worth fighting for? even if i push, do i matter?

Look me in the eyes and tell me I matter.

Cause honestly I’m starting to wonder if I’m good for anything anymore.

I tried writing "Do I matter?" mirrored so that when I took a picture it wouldn't show up backwards...and I made a mistake...

image

Were turning into everything we said we wouldn't.

Why try anymore?
You could care less what happens.
I’m losing you.
Do you care?
…..
Prove it to me, or alone I’ll be.. again.

Am I

What Am I To You? Am I just Another Means of Survival?

Do I matter?

Do I matter to anyone?

Why do I always surround myself around people that couldn’t actually care about my well being at all, that just walk all over me, that think they can just say whatever they want to me, and I can just “deal with it?”

College wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I just wanna go home.

I’m in a state of seemingly perpetual existential crisis.

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