"Dislikeable (Dialogue Tale)"
Text by RosellaWeigand
==
“May I tell you something?”
“Yeah.”
“First off, I don’t like you.”
“I know.”
“Oh, you do?”
“Yes. And I’ve suspected as such for quite some time now.”
“Good. Cause I…I don’t like you. In fact, I have an incredible distaste for you and what you represent. It’s very personal. To be honest, my loathing levels of you are off the charts.”
“I know all of that, too.”
“Well, I’m just glad we can talk about these kinds of things.”
“Was there a second off?”
“Lemme think….First, we covered the ‘I don’t like you’ already….No, I guess all that I wanted to get off of my chest today is just the fact that I have an immense disgust for you and your face.”
“Alright. Now, may I tell you something?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“I don’t like you.”
“Yeah, I know…..I don’t like me, either.”
==
MattConley (Community Director) writes:
This is a really funny Dialogue Tale. It’s got a great pace to it and it would be great to see actors perform this. WunderBoy did an excellent performance already (http://www.hitrecord.org/records/1109429) but I’m curious how a pair of actors would act out this dialogue. Also, voice over artists could record some audio of this, too.
==
"Dialogue Tales - Outer Space"
Text by jeffm
==
“Report on the asteroid conditions?”
“Those scans we took from the surface don’t tell everything.”
“Meaning what?”
“We’re trapped. We can’t go back to the surface. We can’t proceed beyond orbit.”
“How long before the rocks grind this ship to dust?”
“Depends on power supply. The question is, will power last longer pouring it into the shield or into the autocanons? Currently I’m putting it to the canons. They keep the asteroids farther from the ship than the shield.”
“Can we hyperspace out of it?”
“You know that takes an unobstructed path. The swarm of asteroids fluctuates but it’s very dense—”
“Yeah yeah. But can the computers detect a window in them and shoot us through while it’s open?”
“I asked. It says the asteroid field is too dense and vast for a naturally occurring window of sufficient size to be likely, at least for the next few years.”
“You really have been a fool, you know.”
“You followed me into this.”
“No, I commanded you to scan for asteroids then fly us into orbit.”
“Same thing.”
“Get me some coffee.”
“Sorry. That won’t be the last thing I do.”
“Then what good are you?”
“I’m keeping you alive. At least for now.”
“What if we blast open a window through the field?”
“I asked that, too. It wouldn’t stay open long enough. The fact that this ship is enormous isn’t helping.”
“We could blast open a space, move into it, blast open another space, until we’re out.”
“We’re doing that now.”
“So we’re not trapped then? We just keep it up until we’re free?”
“As I said, I’m betting on the canons. The computers estimate total power loss before we escape.”
“I’ll get the silly coffee myself.”
“Why don’t you do that.”
“No need for a bean grinder, I guess. Too bad this ship doesn’t run on caffeine. There’s enough of it in the cargo hold to—”
“I have to concentrate. The computers haven’t figured out we need most of the power going to those canons. They keep shunting it to life support and to their cooling systems. I have to correct them constantly.”
“What about contacting the surface, the docking port?”
“Already sent the beacon. Why don’t you see if they responded?”
“Why haven’t you yourself?”
“Busy. Besides, what can they do?”
“Oh. They sent a communique.”
“I’d open a live channel, but I need the power. Read it, please?”
“Ahem. ‘You’re both fired. Planet authorities notified and have initiated criminal investigation. Return with ship intact so we may discuss why you entered asteroid field after scanning local space. Depending on your statements, imminent charges may be dismissed. Reply.’”
“Tell them to send an asteroid ram.”
“Another communique. Ram on its way.”
“That’s better. When I get back to the surface, I’m complaining about their scanning system.”
“We’ve got another problem.”
“You don’t like the coffee?”
“The coffee’s beautiful. I’m talking about the security robot.”
“Coming to arrest us?”
“And to take control of the ship, I guess. The light on his face just went from blue to red. That’s combat mode.”
“I know what it is. How do you know he went red?”
“He’s almost got the bridge’s secondary hatch out of its frame. I can see him at the end of the corridor through the port of this hatch.”
“Better lock it up tight.”
“Yeah, done. Can you shut him down from your console?”
“Working on it. There. Did he stop?”
“No, but he’s still outside the far hatch. What do you want to do if he gets in here?”
“You’re the captain.”
“Give me a suggestion, then.”
“No idea. Throw coffee in his face.”
“Wait. Another communique. It says, ‘Follow orders of security robot when it arrives on bridge. Stay put. Robot will assist you in any way necessary. Procedure to assume remote control of ship initiated. Remember, ship is corporate property and respect for it is obligatory and appreciated.’”
“What was that noise?”
“The robot. He breached the secondary hatch. He’s right outside. He’s already peeled back a corner of this hatch. He’s watching you through the hole. You might want to turn around and look at this.”
“Not now. Busy.”
“He’ll be in here in a minute.”
“No, he won’t. I just shut him down.”
“Yeah, he stopped. Can they start him again from the surface?”
“Don’t know. Don’t think so. I shut him down by overwhelming his main program with requests for self-diagnostics scans.”
“They call that a security robot?”
“You know we’ll be charged with serious violations for compromising their robot, don’t you?”
“Better than letting the robot prevent us from dealing with the asteroids. Surface taken control of the ship yet?”
“No, but the asteroid ram just secured a path for us. There. The computers can do whatever they want with the ship’s power now. Say, may I taste that?”
“My hazelnut mint? Why?”
“Smells fantastic.”
“I’ve been sipping from it.”
“Don’t care.”
“Knock yourself out, then.”
==
You can contribute to the Dialogue Tales collaboration HERE!
Subway Existentialist (VO) Take 3
crunchycrown“Subway Existentialist (VO) Take 3”
Voiceover by crunchycrown
==
Matt Conley (Community Director) writes:
Awesome Voice Over performances by crunchycrown and drdavey, respectively! Let’s illustrate these characters - and the setting of this Dialogue Tale - for a Short Film.
The Request Video calling for ILLUSTRATORS to create visuals is HERE.
The collaboration is HERE.
Can’t wait to see what we all make together! :D
==
Join the “Subway Existentialist Short Film” collaboration HERE!
I’ve gone a little dialogue-crazy over on hitrecord. I’ve always found dialogue-based writing exercises to be an excellent form of character study and I do love me some character studies. Here’s my latest. I’ve written 8 so far and they’re not incredibly popular so I’ll try to quell the tide. But I had to have a little fun with this one, finally lived up to my name.
__________________________________________________________________
This is bullshit man.
What?
Writing dialogues. Like, you can’t give any names, descriptions, can’t tell where the fuck you are. How the fuck are you supposed to write a story like that?
Maybe it’s not a story, man. Maybe it’s like a sliver of a story. A scene. Maybe it doesn’t matter what what fucking room you’re in or if your character is Matt with deep blue eyes. That’s all bullshit anyway.
That’s not bullshit, dude. That’s real fucking writing. Descriptive writing. That’s Hemingway shit, yo. if your characters are anything like real fucking people, then half of what they say is bullshit anyway.
No, dude - you don’t get it. It’s not about what they fucking say. It’s about what they don’t say.
Dialogue tales.
- Girl: Can you just not?
- Boy: Hmmm?
- Girl: Can you not do this thing that I know you're about to do?
- Boy: What?
- Girl: I know exactly what you're planning tonight, and you know I hate it.
- Boy: Sorry.
- Girl: No you're not. I know you won't regret a minute of it. God, that is the most insincere apology!
- Boy: What do you want me to say? I'm not going to not do it.
- Girl: I am aware of that, but you know why I hate it.
- Boy: I know.
- Girl: I'm sorry.
- Boy: Why are you apologizing? Why do girls always apologize for everything?
- Girl: I guess it's like, ingrained into my brain that, you know, I'm always wrong.
- Boy: Who the fuck told you that?
- Girl: I don't know! Who am I supposed to blame? Myself, maybe? My parents? Society as a whole? Who the fuck knows, man!
- Boy: Right. Because you always have to blame someone.
- Girl: Isn't blaming someone better than blaming myself?
- Boy: Not really? I mean, sometimes. I guess it depends.
- Girl: Depends on what?
- Boy: I don't know, like, whether or not it actually IS your fault.
- Girl: But when it's not...
- Boy: You know you aren't ALWAYS the victim.
- Girl: I am the victim in this situation.
- Boy: You're not a victim. You're an observer.
- Girl: Wait, are we talking about the society thing or are we talking about your plans?
- Boy: My oh-so-terrible plans.
- Girl: Oh. Okay. But, wait. An observer?
- Boy: Yeah, the thing you so desperately despise doesn't involve you at all.
- Girl: It kind of involves me.
- Boy: How does it involve you?
- Girl: Because it's you.
- Boy: And what? I'm not you.
- Girl: Yeah, but like. I love you, dood.
- Boy: I know.
- Girl: Did you just seriously say 'I know' in that tone?
- Boy: I did.
- Girl: Good to know my love for you is so highly appreciated.
- Boy: Welcome.
- Girl: Seriously?
- Boy: Urgh, you know I love you too.
- Girl: When did it get to this?
- Boy: To what?
- Girl: To this bickering?
- Boy: I dunno. We're comfortable, I guess.
- Girl: Comfortable?
- Boy: Yeah, it's not that bad.
- Girl: Do you really love me?
- Boy: Yeah... Yeah, I really do.
- Girl: Even when I nag you?
- Boy: Even when you ask a thousand stupid questions. God, I even love you when you ask what I'm thinking and you KNOW that my response is going to be nothing, because I am either thinking about nothing, or thinking about, well. You.
- Girl: Okay.
- Boy: Okay.
- Girl: I'm sorry.
- Boy: Here we go again!
- Girl: I'm insecure and stuff, that's something to be sorry for!
- Boy: You're a person. You're a girl. You're beautiful, and maybe I don't show you that I love you enough. I am just a stupid fucking boy.
- Girl: Boys are pretty stupid.
- Boy: You picked me anyway.
- Girl: You're not THAT bad. But. You kind of picked me.
- Boy: Whatever.
- Girl: I know... Do you really have to?
- Boy: Oh my God.
Doctor's Office Syndrome
#1 “Okay, now I’m just going to take your pulse.”
#2 “Oh, please, don’t do that! I need that!”
#1 “It won’t hurt a bit. I promise.”
#2 “I’m not ready for this.”
#1 “Sir, I need you to calm down. Your heartrate is through the roof.”
#2 “Oh my goodness! I hoped it would go somewhere useful. Probably some alien ship up there going to use it, I bet you!”
#1 “Sir, just calm down. I’m going to call the doctor.”
#2 “Oh, yes, of course. Leave the room as I slowly die without a heartbeat!!”
#3 “Let’s get him up to the psych ward before anything drastic happens here.”
on HitRECord here.
For RE: Doctors and Dialogue Tales
Shooting Star Wishes [A Dialogue Tale]
1: Look! A shooting star!
2: Where? I can’t see any.
1: Shhh! I’m making a wish.
2: Oh… Well what are you doing, then?
3: Hush!
2: Great.
1:… Okay. I’m done.
2: Finally! So, I was thinking that maybe—
3: Wait a moment. Let me finish.
1: Alright.
2: Fine… Any time now.
*
2: This is taking a while. Is he thinking of a wish, or listing out every wish?!
1: Let him wish!
*
2: The star is long gone now; I’m sure it’s too far to hear his never-ending wish.
1: We’ll wait a bit longer.
*
1: This is getting a bit absurd.
2: Right? Come on, hurry up!
1: Please.
*
2: That’s it.
1: We have time—
2: No! Come on, open your eyes! Let’s go!
3: Hey, what’re you doing?
1: You’re taking too long. Now, let’s get going.
3: Wait—
2: No! No more waiting!
3: WAIT! What just happened?
1: You were wishing on a “shooting star”, and we’ve just been waiting for you to finish your “wish.”
3: A shooting star?
2: Yes! One that I didn’t see, but you insist on standing here thinking on.
3: But…
1: But what?
3: But I’ve been asleep!
——-
Teehee!
here @ hitRECord
Double Entendre (dialogue)
hitrecord.orgA dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste >:)
an album of dialogue tales
hitrecord.orgYou should check em out. ;-)
Car Scratches (Dialogue Tales)
“There’s a scratch on my car! Just there-”
“Where? I don’t see anything.”
“On the door! Right there!”
“You’re crazy.”
“And the seat! The seat’s been moved!”
“You’re seeing things.”
“I am not!”
“…”
“Is that… do I smell cigarettes?”
“Oh my god, you’re losing it.”
“I am not! Where you smoking in my car?”
“I don’t smoke.”
“Yes you do. You smoke when you’re stressed. I’ve seen you.”
“Why would I have been stressed? It was relaxing to have the house to myself!”
“Uh huh. Sure.”
“And your car smells like that horrible cologne you wear. Sticks to the leather, I bet.”
“That’s not what you said last night.”
“Yeah well, last night I had other things on my mind.”
——————
I thought I’d give contributing to this collab a try… (here on hR)
yet another Dialogue Tale
Mistake. But, I have lots to choose from! if only @hitrecord wasn’t acting so wonkified today!
Listen
So, here’s another attempt at Ambiguity, adjusted according to mrbosslady’s request! :]
(Also, I accidentally called my first attempt Side B, but it’s actually Side A. Oops!)
Thoughts?
