Follow posts tagged #deep thoughts, #life, and #jack handey in seconds.

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why do people have to get ready for bed?

i’m always ready for bed

“How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?”

—Satchel Paige
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If God really is “just a stranger on a bus,” I hope he’s not the guy masturbating in the corner.

if s/he can see through your bullshit every time, s/he’s probably your soulmate.

Deep Breaths.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. It feels more like I just confused it with asphyxiation. 

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