This needs to stop...and let me tell you why!
Okay. Guys. Guys. Two things.
1) I’m a martial artist. I’ve been studying since I was seven. I wouldn’t even hesitate to say that I’m good at it. I have done work as a fight choreographer for film, and I am trained in stage combat as well.
2) I’m a contortionist. Yes. Again, since childhood. I had to take a few years off due to some back issues, but I’m getting back into it again. I am Dick Grayson levels of flexible. Yes.
And this pose?
No.
Let’s forget for a minute that it is a supremely stupid and impractical pose for fighting because hey, it’s a comic book. If it looks neat, it doesn’t matter that a real fighter would never, ever do that, right? I mean, why use real positions when you can use made-up ones? Actual showy martial arts moves certainly don’t exist.
And it’s not like they look cool, or anything.
Hey, did you know that the makers of Avatar: The Last Airbender brought in martial arts experts to demonstrate moves, to make sure that they were both making sure things looked cool but also getting them realistic, thereby making iteven more awesome?
Yeah. But. As I already said, let’s move past the whole it’s “stupid for fighting” thing.
I am, actually, physically capable of posing like Cassie above, if we stuck with just the torso twist and had the arms by the hips instead of up the way they are. It isn’t natural or comfortable of course (this is, keep in mind, coming from a person who can, and does, often browse the internets while maintaining a floating middle split), but it is physically possible for me, even with the intense exaggerated curve of the spine and position of the lower half of the body.
However, I am unable to imitate Cassie’s full pose. And Wonder Woman’s, considering the even more exaggerated swayback? It isn’t difficult, it isn’t uncomfortable. It is impossible.
To further demonstrate, this is me doing a fairly extreme torso twist:
As you can see in the picture, I can position myself so that my upper half and lower half are, well. My chest is facing the floor and my knees are pointed towards the ceiling. I’m not sure how clear it is in the picture, but my shoulders are pretty much in line with my knees. And yet, the way Cassie’s torso is situated, coupled with her arm placement, how Wonder Woman’s shoulders are pulled back as she pushes out her chest while twisting her lower half in that direction? Nope. Can’t.
Now I’m sure there are some people out there who probably are able to mimic the way these two (and so many other female comic characters) are positioned above. I’m also pretty sure that there aren’t many, and that these characters can’t. Regardless of the fact that they were drawn that way. I’m going to go ahead and say they can’t. And non-super female characters, who have to work at what they do? Have an even less chance of being able to achieve this position.
Also, and go ahead and brick me for saying so, but I’m so turned around by how bad the art and positioning is that I really can’t find them sexy or anything. Which, you know, was probably the whole point of them being drawn that way. I guess some people find torso dislocation sexy? I’m not one of those people.
Just seriously. People. I understand artist license. I understand exaggeration. I understand suspending disbelief.
But if a martial artist who is also a contortionist can’t mimic a pose you use constantly for female fighters, there might be a problem in, you know, your choices on basic anatomy. I can’t be the only one who thinks this.
Just sayin’.
Edit: And I have now written a follow-up. It further expands on why I dislike this pose and it’s much-too-often use. Gets more into the motivation, over actual mechanics. More personal opinion-explanations ahoy.
The Truth of the DCnU
- In Actuality: The DCnU is a warped dimension, pulling people out of the DCU and wiping their memories, forcing them into new lives. The people missing from the DCnU managed to escape or were never forced into the illusion in the first place, are desperately working to bring the other back into the DCU reality. Anyone who perishes, or is transformed beyond recognition has been successfully pulled back into the DCU, their DCnU identity either dying, or falling into a new persona without the original copy still inhabiting the DCnU body. Eventually the DCnU will be dissembled completely, and the DCU restored with everyone successfully removed from the alternate twisted reality. The most recent person retrieved from the DCnU was Damian Wayne, who was rescued by Cass Cain, Stephanie Brown and Tim Drake in the DCU, the two former having never been sucked in and the latter managing to separate himself completely from his DCnU persona, causing it to become a twisted image of himself, and return to the DCU to aid in the restoration of it's population.
With Deep Apologies to Dr. Seuss
I tried to write Christmas fic, but this is what happened. There may be more. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
HOW DAN DIDIO STOLE CONTINUITY
Every Fan
On the Internet
Liked Continuity a lot…
But Dan Didio,
Who frowned at the ‘Net,
Did NOT!
Didio hated Continuity! Whole decades of plot!
(Now, please don’t ask why. He just did, and a lot.)
It could be that he thought only HIS heroes were funny.
It could be, perhaps, that he just wanted more money.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His opinions or plans,
He glared at the Internet, hating the Fans.
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Didio frown
At the End-of-Year Forum threads in their E-Town.
For he knew every Fan on the Internet below
Was busy now, blogging about 52 solicits and shows.
“They’re complaining about equal representation!” he snarled with a sneer.
“They’re just so demanding! We have at least two queers!”
Then he growled, with his greedy fingers nervously drumming,
”I MUST find a way to keep Progress from coming!”
For, Wednesday, he knew
All the Fangirls and Fantots
Would wake up bright and early. They’d rush to their local comic shops!
And then! Oh, the reviews! Oh, the crit! Crit! Crit! Crit!
That’s one thing he hated! The CRIT! CRIT! CRIT! CRIT!
Then the Fans, young and old, would sit down to a talk.
And they’d talk! And they’d talk!
And they’d TALK! TALK! TALK! TALK!
They would toast the Fingerstripes and Nightwing’s firm Ass
Which made Didio so angry! DIDIO SMASH!
And THEN
They’d do something he liked least of all!
Every Fan on the Internet, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, they’d blog and they’d share.
They’d talk about feelings. And damn them, they’d care!
They’d care! And they’d care!
AND they’d CARE! CARE! CARE! CARE!
And the more Dan D. thought of the Fans of the Comics
The more Dan D. thought, “I’ll blame the economics!
“Why, for too many years I’ve stewed on this hate!
I could do it all over—-wipe clean the whole slate!
”
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
DAN DIDIO
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” Dan D. chuckled in glee.
”I’ll redo the Comics—-and I’ll do them for me!”
And he chortled and schemed, “Silver Age will return!
Steph Brown, the Flash Fam, and Ted Kord can all burn!”
