Discoball World

David Garza

Davíd Garza — Discoball World

Not long before I met Ian, I was briefly involved with a man who was really cool. Not as a human being but tastewise? Very cool. He liked all the right things and even though chronologically, this wasn’t very long ago, I cared a lot about people’s taste and aesthetic sense. I still enjoyed things and allowed myself to feel them but I was very aware that some things were cooler, more interesting, more right than others; the things you liked and the “good” things you liked. I feel sheepish admitting this now, that there was ever a time when I cared about the right things to enjoy but I suspect this is fairly common when you’re still green, when you’re more concerned about playing the game rather than being comfortable in your own skin, about saying what you’re supposed to say rather than what you feel.

So, this man put this song on a mix for me, a mix that had all the right markers for cool, but also this song; it was my favorite song on there. Not because I’d never heard of the artist but because from the very beginning, it felt achingly sincere. He attached the lyric “I fell for your coffee eyes” in the mix’s liner notes. I listened to that song more than any other song on the mix and even when things didn’t work out, something I saw coming from early on, this song stuck in my head as something purely joyful and enjoyable down to my bones.

By the time I met Ian, I had shed a lot of my pretension and was open not only to love and all that comes with it but to the possibility of enjoying things that are in no way cool. I put this song on a mix for Ian, attaching the lyric “I lost god, I found you” in these liner notes. It was the furthest thing from cool but it was exactly what I meant from that early on. 

What I’m trying to say is that I like this song and that Girls Aloud cover of Jump and Dance Moms and decorating for Christmas and puns and being the person who takes a photo of most things and writing thank you notes and going to bed early so I’m not tired for school or work and getting excited about baby animals and wearing actual pajamas a lot of the time and crying at books and movies and concerts and especially art museums. I don’t think anyone would call me cool at this point of my life but I also don’t think anyone is having a better time than I am these days.