Today I grateful for:
-A safe trip back.
-Hanging out with my sister all weekend and this morning (I wish she was here to wrap presents with me after midnight like we did last year).
-Getting in town JUST in time to jump in the shower and run to a meeting (which was unexpectedly very good, ha).
-My family being so supportive of my recovery- being okay with me going to a meeting on Christmas Eve, altering recipes that normally call for alcohol, and loading me up with sparkling cider (obvs).
-My dad telling me this is the healthiest I’ve looked in years.
-Cooking dinner with my mama.
-Not having to find a dealer on a holiday!
-My knee high combat boots (I might have to live in these).
Today I am grateful for:
- Being sober on Christmas- not out trying to score as I got money, not in a treatment center, etc.
- People coming to a meeting on Christmas night.
- My mom and step-dad taking me out to see Les Mis and doing our little Christmas traditions even though it’s just the three of us.
- A good, rare steak.
- The sweetest boyfriend ever ever.
- Remembering I have a check waiting for me at work- meaning I can comfortably take off work for a state-wide recovery convention next month and (with a suggestion from someone at the meeting tonight) actually stay there at least two days.
- My sister calling me for advice and mainly just to vent. I can’t put into words how much I love her and anything I can do to help her, I will.
- Watching The Fellowship of the Ring with my mom, who enjoys it as much as I do.
- NO MORE CHRISTMAS MUSIC (except when we have Chris over for “Christmas” dinner tomorrow, I guess).
Today I am grateful for:
- 3.45 GPA for my first semester at university hollaaaaaaaaa guess who’s gonna graduate with honorsssss.
- An amazing visit home that has helped to remind me of who I am, where I’ve been, what I’ve done and what I need to do now.
- Getting to go to my parents’ business today and see them in action: talking with customers, leading a workout class, proudly showing me everything they’ve done to the shop and just being happy.
- Going out and about in my hometown today BY MYSELF. Every time I’ve come before, I have had someone with me, either family or Chris. And today I went to the mall where I worked during some of the worst of my using and lived to tell the tale! Next time I’ll try to trust myself enough to hang out with (positive, healthy) friends.
- My step-mom trusting me to take her car “as long as I needed it”. The day after giving me a bunch of cash. I don’t care how long I’ve been sober, this still amazes me.
- Going into the pharmacy where I used to buy, um, equipment and just buying Kettlecorn for my family.
- Nice make-up! MATTE TOP COAT!
- Finally finishing my Christmas shopping (lol), including a 492 piece Lego set for one of my nephews (lolol).
- Lord of the Rings marathon on TV while I wait up for my sister to get home (DAMN IT PIPPEN STOP CRYING YOU ASSHOLE NO NO NO BE THE COMEDIC RELIEF NO)
today I am grateful for:
- going into work early to eat and add to dokilist
- having a decent close, even though I didnt make score
- all of the street lights turning green just as I arrived to them on my way home
- staying up until 8 AM talking w/ ink about sharkbait feelings
- Ink’s parents being decent++
- Josh calling me to wish me a happy belated birthday ;-; (he just found my number today slkdjf)
- getting to and from my car safe every day
- how much better water tastes with lemon in it
- Shea sending me a White Day gift ;-; cute
it doesn’t seem like I have a whole lot to be grateful for on this list, but I obviously do— it’s just that the past few days have just been much of the same, so I don’t want to be super repetitive with these lists.
gratitude list for the past 2 days and today:
- getting good scores at work
- making progress with eating recovery things
- celebrating 6 months with Reba
- making it home safely through all the snow
- getting to work on time all the days
- Deanna, all of her
- talking to Lucy for a long time last night
- talking to Shea on the phone for almost 2 1/2 hours the other night mannnnnnn that made my LIFE I love you Shea xoxoxo
- sam adams, dang it’s good
- mostly just feeling stable and having decent days and being okay
- drinking a shit ton of tea (hot and iced)
today I am grateful for:
- reading One-Punch Man
- watching more Samurai Champloo
- taking myself out to dinner despite overwhelming anxiety
- remembering to move my car.. .. ..
- feeling okay
- Shea sending me a photo of St. Augustine ;-; pretty (I hope you’re enjoying your vaca!!!)
- Orlando’s existence
- Ink being really goddamn supportive all the time
