Cross Cultural

This week we had a message brought to us called Christians and Culture by Brent Homcy. I thought was interesting to see how Christians often times respond to culture. He gave a three main ways. 

1. Condemn: This is a reaction to culture that causes Christians to fear and disrespect world views and retreat into a “Christian only” club. 

2. Conform: This is a reaction to culture that causes Christians to adhere to culture in such a way where they are no different then the people around them. 

3. Cultivate: This is a proactive movement where Christians are involved in creating a new culture. 

Confession Time: I think I’ve tried the first two more than enough times to realize that they don’t help the end goal of sharing Christ with others. My new goal is to stop reacting to culture and instead begin to proactively create it. Its interesting in Acts when Paul gets to Greece he hangs out at all the marketplaces-places where culture is bought and sold-with a regular presence, so much so that he was aware of all of their culture norms and lifestyles. This is especially remarkable when he’s sharing the gospel using Pagan poetry and art to convince people of the message. We can see from Paul’s model that he wasn’t merely adopting culture but creating a new meaning around it. 

To give me an idea of what are cultures top influences are I checked out Google Zeitgeist to find out what the top searches where. 

The fastest rising in 2010 were:

1. ipad 
2. chatroulette 
3. iphone 4 
4. world cup 
5. justin bieber 
6. myxer 
7. facebook 
8. grooveshark 
9. glee 
10. mocospace 

In 2010, in the United States, the ipad, chatroulette and the iphone 4 were the top searches. It seems that Apple is having a HUGE effect on culture. So what does this say about our culture? What does this say about what were into and where were going? I challenge us to be cultivators and innovators not merely reactors. 

Long Jack Lobo

its decided.

I am going to kenya next may…well I’m applying to the program. 

applying next week after I make an apt with the prof to talk about it more. 

I’m jumping in. My friend who was gonna go backed out, but I think I can do this on my own. It’ll be okay. It’ll be an experience. I’ll be a few months shy of 21. It’s only three weeks. 

Just do it, kailyn.

Camping, Being Non-Confrontational, and Other Confusing "Canadian" Practices

As someone who spent her formative years living in six different countries, I’ve had a vast array of ‘fish out of water’ moments, ranging from the educational (e.g., learning how to conduct myself properly in divergent cultural/religious contexts) to the mortifying (e.g., asking for a ‘sankie’ in a bar in the Dominican Republic because I thought a sankie was Dominican slang for a drink rather than being slang for, well, a gigolo).  I revel in these moments. Though I realize how cultural curiosity can, in many ways, quickly degenerate into cultural voyeurism, can I just have a ‘We are the world’ moment here and say, with utmost sincerity, that understanding cultural differences is by far the coolest thing about traveling?

Lately, I’ve been struck with how much I am still a tourist in Canada, my ‘home’ country. Though I classify myself as Filipina-Canadian, there are instances when I feel more Filipina than Canadian (and vice versa, though this topic merits a separate blog post).  Such are the joys of having a diasporic identity! 

Herewith is a completely random, tongue-in-cheek list of “Canadian” practices that continue to befuddle me:

Camping and the great outdoors – MOTL’s favorite childhood memories invariably involve going to the Albertan mountains to camp and to bask in nature.  My favorite childhood memories involve going to Hong Kong with my entire extended family to go shopping.   Although I’ve had a few opportunities to go camping,* I invariably get bored.  Don’t get me wrong. I like going on hikes.  I like sitting by the campfire, eating grilled hotdogs, and chatting.  I like seeing the vastness of the evening sky.   I like the peace and quiet of my surroundings. 

Soon, though, I get restless.  The mosquitoes start becoming a nuisance.  The absence of contact with the outside world makes me antsy.  My companions start emitting body odor.  I start feeling unclean.  Sadly, my inability to really enjoy camping makes me feel like I am admitting to a huge personal defect. I’m not resourceful, rugged, and strong.  Does that make me un-Canadian?

Being non-confrontational – To illustrate how my tendency to be blunt is occasionally perceived as being un-Canadian, consider the following anecdote.  I was standing in line at Immigration Canada, having returned from a trip overseas, when one of the volunteers told me to bypass the people ahead of me and to step at the front of the line.  This is most likely because I had to make a transfer, and risked missing my transfer if my papers didn’t get processed immediately.  The couple before me did not hear this exchange.  When they saw me go in front of them, they started talking to each other, loudly, about how rude “some people” were and how “some people” didn’t know that “in Canada, people stood in line.”  Upon hearing this, I turned around, looked at both of them and said, “hi.  Are you talking about me?”  The two of them gaped at me, shocked; one of them looked so surprised that one would think that I did something completely inappropriate, like kick him in the shins and yank off his toupee.  When they wouldn’t respond, I told them that I actually was told by the volunteer to bypass the line because otherwise, I might miss my connection.  After I said this, both of them automatically nodded and uttered a few “oh dears” for my benefit.  We then made idle small talk about how ghastly some airport connections can be, how Toronto Pearson’s renovations look, etc.  It was completely surreal.  I guess talking to people directly and confronting them for being passive-aggressive is a violation of some sort of social code?  I’m still not sure. 

Other immigrant friends have told me of how this social code – this tendency of Canadians to avoid confrontation– has made it confusing to navigate the workplace.  A recent example concerns IS, a friend having a hard time decoding the meaning behind her co-workers’ words.  Specifically, her boss keeps complimenting her for her good work but when it comes time for her performance review had more critical things to say.  When IS asked her boss to clarify his expectations, he told her “not to worry”. “When Canadians say that you are doing ‘good work,’ do they mean the opposite? Why can’t he just tell me what is wrong with my work?” IS moaned to me.  We both decided that to be completely forthright is not nice and thus, not Canadian.

“Cottaging” – Perhaps this is more of a practice in Ontario, but the social etiquette surrounding cottaging is so complex that I am surprised no one has written a rulebook on cottage behavior. I base this observation upon reading with amusement the numerous plaintive letters written to the Globe and Mail’s advice column on cottage protocol.

Two, in particular, stand out.  The first concerns a family complaining about how the people in the cottage next to theirs have been “harassing” them by constantly inviting them over for dinner and dropping by to say hi.  Though I am as misanthropic as the next person, that such friendly overtures are deemed “harassment” strikes me as being weird. In the Philippines, my grandmother’s house always has visitors who dropped by just to say hello.  People certainly did not intend to be intrusive – far from it! In India, where I lived for a bit, having friends come over without prior notice was more than welcome.  Why then do the same practices constitute “harassment” in cottage country?

The second letter involves a letter writer who was affronted that her sister’s daughter had the temerity to ask her if she could use the cottage for a wedding party get-together during ‘her’ week there.   The letter writer was further aggrieved over this ostensibly inconsiderate request because she was not invited to the wedding.  It is this very point that perplexes me. It is clear that cottage politics in her family only became acrimonious once the letter writer found out that no wedding invitation addressed to her was forthcoming.  In contrast, Filipino wedding protocol mandates that all family members – especially close relatives such as your parents’ siblings – get invited. If I were to exclude relatives from my guest list, I will feel the full extent of my families’ wrath, believe you me.  Consequently, it is odd for me to see that the letter writer’s niece felt that inviting the letter writer, her mother’s sister, was not necessary; it is even odder that her aunt, the letter writer, is determined to use subterfuge to prevent her niece from using the cottage.  Why can’t they just talk about it?  Oh wait, that’s too confrontational.  So we return to point number 2: Canadians don’t talk to each other directly.  The letter writer’s family is doomed!  I can just imagine decades upon decades of chilly family gatherings, where nothing is ever said, but the tension runs high.

Shoes On/Off – In the Philippines, people take off their shoes before entering the house and put on slippers.  In other Asian countries, people take their shoes off and walk around barefoot or in socks.  In Canada, the great debate on whether it is rude to ask guests to take off their shoes rages.  Though a lot of the houses that I’ve visited in Toronto require that guests take off their shoes, apparently, this practice has caused so much consternation that an entire National Post column  and Globe and Mail “group therapy session” was written defending why there are some circumstances when it is perfectly reasonable to ask people to remove their shoes.

To say that other people disagree is to make an overstatement.  Some of the readers in the aforementioned G&M piece argued that prioritizing the removal of shoes over guests’ comfort shows that “rules are more important than spending time” with loved ones. Emily Yoffe, an advice columnist from Slate, even goes so far as to say that people who ask their guests to do so are neat freaks with OCD.  One of her readers agrees, writing: “Some of us are in pain walking without shoes and the inserts that support our feet and some of us have holes in our socks, some of us have ugly toes, and some of us have smelly feet.  Also, some of us just don’t want to walk around in bare feet on your floors which may have anything on them.  Don’t embarrass your guests by asking this of them.  I don’t see how it’s the least bit courteous to draw attention to someone’s feet.”  When another reader told her that s/he would happily supply slippers for her guests to don while in the house, the same reader said, “I don’t want to put on someone else’s shoes.  That’s just offensive.  Wow, I can’t believe the attitude of some people who assume their floor is cleaner than people’s feet!”  Yet another reader chimed in his/her agreement by saying that it was a sign of “low class” and “poor etiquette” to ask guests to remove their shoes. 

I guess this is a no-win debate then.  And, low class and poor etiquette be damned, I am not having people’s dirty, wet shoe prints all over my apartment.  And I reserve the right to confront you about this if I see you clomping around in galoshes on my floor, even if confronting you makes me un-Canadian.

A Disregard for ‘Loss of Face’ – Filipino culture, and, by extension, Asian culture is all about saving face.  This means that my parents, being Filipino, consider this an important concept.  In fact, ‘saving face’ is probably one of the reasons why I had a difficult time persuading them to allow me to go on sleepovers.  (“What if your friend’s parents think that we don’t have the resources to take care of you?  What if they think we’re sending you over to them so they can feed you?,” thunders my dad.  “It’s a sleepover.  No one’s parents are going to think that you can’t feed me.  We’re just hanging out,” I would shriek, to no avail). 

I didn’t realize until recently that I, too, have been influenced by the notion of face saving. I think that a lot of my actions are based on the desire to help other people save face, however quaint that may sound.  For example, some friends recently threw a party for me, where I was confronted with an abundance of gifts.  Protocol here mandates opening gifts in front of everyone to show my appreciation.  I initially hesitated.  Why?  Well, what if some of the gifts were modest, leading the gift givers to feel embarrassed over their inability to give me something more?  What if opening their gifts led them to lose face?  Though I immediately dismissed these thoughts, I can’t say that I feel comfortable opening presents in front of an audience.  

My desire to ensure that people don’t lose face is so ingrained that normal interactions become loaded with meaning.  To use another example, recently, I was at my neighborhood coffee shop and ordered a latte.  Instead, I got a mocha.  I didn’t ask my barista for a new drink because her manager was there and I didn’t want her to lose face in front of her boss.

So there you have it, folks.  What are some of the ways where you don’t feel entirely Canadian?  And what does it tell us about how we think of Canadian identity?

*MOTL would argue that I’ve actually never gone on a ‘real’ camping trip.  After all, I’ve never slept in a tent, but have only slept in cabins.