Why did only two Mexicans cross the border?

The sign said “No Tres-passing”

What do your mum and a non-steroidal anti-inflamatory drug have in common?

They both inhibit COX.

the science behind laughter

Two scientists are running experiments in a lab. One turns to the other and says, “I think I’m missing an electron!” 

The other says to him, “Are you sure?”

The first one turns to him and says, “I’m positive”

Oh my god I love crap jokes so much <3

“knock, knock”
“Whos’s there?”
“Europe”
“Europe who?”
“NO! YOU’RE A POO!”

Heard this joke like three days ago….still laughing to myself….

What do you call a singing laptop?

A Dell.

image

The new Margaret Thatcher film has been rated 12A - apparently there are some scenes unsuitable for miners.

A carp joke

You have ten  fish; five drown, three come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting, dickhead. Fish can’t drown.











































XD

Once upon a time, in a red indian village, there lived a girl, whose name was Beautiful Sunrise. One day, her brother decided to go into his parents’ tent, and ask them a question. “How do you choose our names?” he said. His parents smiled and replied, “We choose the first thing we see after the child’s birth. When your sister was born, we saw a beautiful sunrise. Why do you ask, Two Deer Humping?”

Hilary Duff is up the duff.

Peheheh.

What's a pirate's favourite amino acid?

Arrrrrrginine.

spoilers and i’m not putting it under a cut because it matters

matt smith is not david tennant 

ITS OCTOBER. TIME TO WAKE UP GREENDAY

The death of boxing legend Joe Frazier is being regarded as suspicious.

George Foreman is currently being grilled by Police.

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