Just when I think I'm okay...

I get a letter.  And he says he loves me, just like always.  And it makes my stomach get all twisty and my heart skips a beat, and for a second there I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.  And then I remember the situation and it all falls back apart.

It’s been a year, he almost doesn’t know me anymore.  I wish I could tell him the truth, that I can’t handle hearing from him.  I’m sick of falling apart, but I can’t help it.  I wish it were different.  I wish he knew how much I need to hear him say “Jess, you’re going to be okay”, instead of just “I love you, don’t forget that.”

Ugh, I sound so pathetic right now.  I don’t know why this always happens to me.