Why doesn’t college teach you how to negotiate contracts or pay rates, or how to do taxes or figure out how to buy or rent, or teach you what to look for in buying and doing understanding basic maintenance on a car? Or how to make sure you’re not being screwed on insurance?
Why don’t I know any of these things but I’m having to take a class on how to operate Microsoft Word and write emails and two required P.E. classes? Some things just strike me as being a little more pertinent than others right now.
Started classes today. That was an interesting little adventure. Long day is long and also I am tired and I pretty much wanted to do nothing even relating to returning to school. However college is important and blah blah and yay with the scholarship and with my major track (Film) I’m at least still doing things in my field, with the bonus of learning something new. Been putting off finishing things up for a while, and if I don’t just do it now, I know there’ll be this project and that thing and I never will, so here I am back again to get things over with for good (here’s to hoping).
Anyway, in one of my classes, Teacher asked if anyone had seen such-and-such a thing. I thought she’d said Marvel’s Green Hornet so I raised my hand, sort of surprised no one else did.
Turns out she said Marble Hornets and asked me a few questions that I answered vaguely while I felt bad. So now I’m watching this thing, which turned out to be tiny little film clips, so that at least I’m not a liar in retrospect.
…It’s really weird, you guys.
I absolutely hate being needy. I hate feeling clingy. I hate being a bother. Usually I am independent, no problem, hands-down, piece of cake. But this freaking day before I leave, I am obsessively needy and greedy and selfish. And a bother.
So my amazing boyfriend, I am sorry I interrupted your movie and your night hanging with your brother because I am terrified of going back to school and leaving you again, and I’m scared you’ll forget me. I know it’s stupid, but you neglect the fact that I’m not as self-confident as I pretend.
I love you.
