Things not to say to a military wife:

1. “Aren’t you afraid that he’ll be killed?”
Of course we’re afraid. We’re terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our
minds —but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they’re scared of dying.

2. “I don’t know how you manage. I don’t think I could do it.”
This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying.
Here’s why: it’s not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we’d get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We’re not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.

3. “At least he’s not in Iraq.”
This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands
are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An
international game of golf? Specially since the action recently has heated up in Afghanistan and now starting to warm back up in Iraq. Really does it make it easier if he’s in either one! Oh ignorance

4. “Do you think he’ll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?”
Don’t you watch the news? No! They don’t get to come home for any of these things. Please don’t ask again.

5. “What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he’s gone?”
Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there’s a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don’t get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.

6. “How much longer does he have until he can get out?”
This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed
or not. Many of our husbands aren’t counting down the days until they
“can” get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again
because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and
AGAIN to go back to Iraq/Afghanistan b/c there is work that needs to be done.

7. “This deployment shouldn’t be so bad, now that you’re used to it.”
We do learn coping skills. We figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets “easy” and the bullets and bombs don’t skip over our guys just because they’ve been there before. The worry never goes away. And all of us military wives who have had more than one deployment know that they get harder the more you have to do

8. “Wow you must miss him?”
This one also gets another big “duh”. Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they’re now divorced.

9. “Well, he signed up for it, so it’s his own fault whatever happens over there.
Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn’t sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. 

10. “Well in my opinion…..”
Stop right there. Yo, I didn’t ask for you your personal politicalopinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Starbucks, not at Nordstrom, not when I’m outwith my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we’re trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy
office microwaves.

11. “OH, that’s horrible…I’m so sorry!”
He’s doing his job and he’s a badass. Don’t be sorry. Be appreciative
and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to
realize that our marines/soldiers/airmen/coasties/sailors fight the
wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.