Ew

There is this weird thing that happens to me that makes me write horribly. I use idiotic, complicated words and sentence structures and write things like “it would behoove so-and-so” or “something with which he might find himself blah blah blah.” You get the idea. I think it’s anxiety. 

If I could use these structures in a seamless way, it would be better. But I don’t, so the writing is clunky. I guess that’s why people “edit.” But further anxiety makes me edit and re-edit and re-edit until it’s still not very good, because I can’t get my head around how a normal, non-anxious person would hear it.

I think about 5% of the time, my writing flows in interesting, unforced ways. I’m still trying to figure out what substances I need to be on/how much sleep I need/what inspiration I need/what emotional pits I need to emerge from in order to get into this state.

The book The Midnight Disease addresses this issue somewhat, by the way. I recommend it. Oddly enough, there seems to be a rumor going ‘round that depression causes good writing/makes you more creative. Um….it doesn’t. Just wanted to clear that up.