Merry Christmas Assassin's Creed

Merry Christmas, everyone.
I’ve done some Assassin’s Creed Christmas Carols!

(Malik the Assassin)

Malik the assassin was a scowling, bitter soul,
With the sharpest gaze and a crooked nose
And one arm to top it off.
Malik the assassin is a cripple, they say,
He was made a Dai but the others
Know how he retrieved the treasure that day

.
There must have been some magic in that
Old artifact they found.
For when he gave it to Al Mualim
He began to betray all around
O, Malik the assassin
Was as grumpy as he could be,
And the others say he could hit
as hard as any old woman with a cane


Malik the assassin knew
Altair was about that day,
So he said, “Let’s close and
We’ll have some fun
Watching him try to get away.”
Down to the bureau,
With blood running down his face
When Altair arrived soaked in blood
He could only say
“You’re a novice anyways.”
He beat him when he tried to fight
And struck him right down
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler “Stop!”
Malik the  Assassin
Knew he had to spare the man
But he considered taking
his life anyway
Before he let him go
Stumpetty stump stump,
Stumpety stump stump,
Look at Malik go.
Stumpetty stump stump,
stumpety stump stump,
Not quite out of the bureau

((I’m dreaming of a Masyaf Christmas))

I’m dreaming of a Masyaf Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the walls are grey
and Malik hisses
at everything that I say

I’m dreaming of a Masyaf Christmas
with every letter that I write
May your days be bloody and short
And may all your Christmasses be white

I’m dreaming of a Masyaf Christmas
With every letter that I write
May your days be bloody and short
May all your Christmasses be white

((Silent night, Bloody night))

Silent night! Bloody night!
All is calm all is bright
Round yon novice, master and child
Skilless novice so tactless and wild
Train under his blade!
Train under his blade!
Silent night! Bloody night!
Templars quake at the sight
Blood streams from city afar
Brainless oafs sing murderers
There an assassin is born!
There an assassin is born!
Silent night! Bloody night!
Son of Assassin, brother of all
Blood drips from thy sharp blade
With the death of a target by your hand
, Nothing is true, everything is permitted
Nothing is true

 

((I saw daddy kissing… ))

I saw Daddy kissing some strange man 
Underneath the mistletoe last night. 
He didn’t see me creep 
down the stairs to have a peep; 
He thought that I was tucked 
up in my bedroom fast asleep. 
Then, I saw that ghost tickle Daddy 
Underneath his beard so snowy white; 
Oh, what a laugh it would have been 
If Mommy had only seen 
Daddy kissing that strange man last night

 

 ((Where are you Charles))

Where are you Charles
Why can’t I find you 
Why have you gone away 

My world is changing
I’m trying to find you
Does that mean you’re hiding away

Where are you Charles
Do you remember
The one you used to know
You burned my village
and killed my mother
Did father hide you
or just you

 

 ((Mister Kenway))

You’re a mean one, Mister Kenway
You really are a templar, 
You’re as cuddly as a cactus, though as charming as an angel, Mister Kenway, 

You’re a bad englishman with a very sharp sword! 

You’re a templar, Mister Kenway, 
Your heart’s an empty hole, 
Your wit may be unmatched but, you’ve got sardines in your soul, Mister Kenway, 

I would really, really like to touch you beneath your clothes.

You’re a vile one, Mister Kenway, 
You have a very charming smile, 
You have all the tender sweetness of a bloody battlefield, Mister Kenway, 

Given a choice between the two of you I’d take well …  I’d still take you! 

You’re a foul one, Mister Kenway 
You’re really quite impossible to hate
Your heart is full of mysteries, your speech is full of sass, Mister Kenway, 

The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, “hot, hot, hot!” 

You’re a hot one, Mister Kenway, 
And I can’t believe your book, 
Your heart just needs to taped together and given a little hug, Mister Kenway, 

Your story is an appalling feels heap overflowing with the most painful assortment of hopeless feelings imaginable, mangled up in tangled up ouch! 

You nauseate me, Mister Kenway, 
With the sweetest english accent
You’re a perfect human being and you ride a pretty horse, Mister Kenway, 

You’re a reallyquiteattractivetemplarthatIreallyshouldn’tlikebecauseTemplarssuck! And I love you

 

((Assassin Boy))

Kill they told me, pa rum pum pum pum 
A new target to kill, pa rum pum pum pum 
Our finest weapons we bring, pa rum pum pum pum 
To use to kill the tem-, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

So to murder Him, pa rum pum pum pum, 
When we come. 

Little fricken Snake, pa rum pum pum pum 
I am an assassin too, pa rum pum pum pum 
I have so many to kill, pa rum pum pum pum
All my weapons are bloody, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

Shall I kill you too, pa rum pum pum pum, 
With my blade?

When I killed him, pa rum pum pum pum 
The guards took after me, pa rum pum pum pum 
I turned my blade on them, pa rum pum pum pum
I killed all of them, pa rum pum pum pum, 
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, 

Then I gained a rank, pa rum pum pum pum 
Me and my blade.

((Can you see your death coming?))

Said the Assassin to the Templar
Do you see what I see
Way crazed in the head little Templar
Do you see what I see
An assassin
Dancing in the night
With a sword as big as an ox
With a sword as big as an ox

Said the Assassin to the Templar
Do you hear what I hear
The Ringing of the blades the Templar boy
Do you hear what I hear
A song, a song
High above the trees
With a voice as quiet as a fox
With a voice as quiet as a fox

Said the Assassin to the Templar
Do you know what I know
In your palace wall mighty Templar
Do you know what I know
An Assassin
Waits to take your life
Just wait until he spills your blood
Just wait until he spills your blood

Said the Templar to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say
Search for assassins, search everywhere
Listen to what I say
The assassin
Stalking THROUGH the night
He will bring us bloodSHED and death
He will bring us bloodSHED and death

The Assassin, the Assassin
stalking THROUGHT the night
He will bring us bloodshed and death

 

(( Twelve days of Assassins))

On the first day of Christmas
My Mentor gave to me
An Assassin in a tree
On the second day of Christmas
My Mentor gave to me
 :Two wooden swords and An assassin in a tree
On the third day of Christmas
My Mentor gave to me: Three Leo inventions, Two wooden swords and An assassin in a tree
On the forth day of Christmas
My Mentor gave to me : Four hidden blades,  Three Leo inventions, Two wooden swords and An assassin in a tree
On the fifth day of Christmas
My Mentor gave to me :Five new games, four hidden blades, three leo inventions, two wooden swords and assassin in a tree
On the sixth day of Christmas,
My Mentor gave to me: six Templar targets, five new games, four hidden blades, three leo inventions, two wooden swords and an assassin in a tree
On the seventh day of Christmas
,My Mentor gave to me : seven loyal underlings, six Templar targets, five new games, four hidden blades, three leo inventions, two wooden swords and an assassin in a tree
On the eight day of Christmas,
My Mentor gave to me: eight leaps of faith, seven loyal underlings, six Templar targets, five new games, four hidden blades, three leo inventions, two wooden swords and an assassin in a tree

On the ninth day of Christmas
,My Mentor gave to me: nine courtesans dancing, eight leaps of faith, seven loyal underlings, six Templar targets, five new games, four hidden blades, three leo inventions, two wooden swords and an assassin in a tree

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My Mentor love gave to me :ten  saddled horses, nine courtesans dancing, eight leaps of faith, seven loyal underlings, six Templar targets, five new games, four hidden blades, three leo inventions, two wooden swords and an assassin in a tree
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My t mentor gave to me: Eleven thieves thieving, ten saddled horses, nine courtesans dancing, eight leaps of faith, seven loyal underlings, six Templar targets, five new games, four hidden blades, three leo inventions, two wooden swords and an assassin in a tree

On the Twelfth day of Christmas,
My Mentor gave to me: Twelve Assassins sassing, Eleven thieves thieving, Ten saddled horses, Nine courtesans dancing, Eight leaps of faith, Seven loyal underlings, Six Templar targets, Five new games, Four hidden blades, Three Leo inventions, Two wooden swords, and an assassin in a tree