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today in white people be tripping
in my socio class, we are talking about womb out-sourcing. there is a global commodity chain where (mostly) white upper/middle class women rent out the wombs of indian villagers because of fertility issues. its tens of thousands of dollars cheaper in india, of course.
we watched a documentary where a doctor delivering the child is on his phone, talking to the ‘legal’ parents as he cuts open this woman with a knife. he yanks a baby out and instantly everyone forgets about this woman. typically the contracts only cover till the ‘job is done’ meaning as soon as the baby is out of the womb. should this indian lady, who is paid 4k for 9 months of ‘work’, develop complications because she has been coerced into a c-section, the medical bills are on her.
anyway this white woman in the class kept insisting that no one knows the trauma of being infertile, that this process is SOO HARD on the legal parents, that we cant judge people for surrogacy.
my professor, a distinguished indian researcher who has spent years working on this issue, says yes— i sympathize with the parents, of course, but we are not against surrogacy. to treat these women as human beings, that is important too….
the lady goes on about how raising the wages for the surrogate mothers means that more ladies in america dont have access to this process… protecting the cheapness is important…
every black and brown girl in the room rolls her eyes… this white boy is noticibly irritated, pipes up and says, BUT HISTORICALLY REPRODUCTIVE TECHNOLOGY MOSTLY BENEFITS RICH WHITE WOMEN WHILE EXPLOITING WOMEN OF COLOR, HOW CAN YOU IGNORE WHAT IS BEING DONE TO THESE WOMEN? JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY FOR SURROGACY DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE ACCESS TO THE BODIES OF POOR WOMEN OF COLOR!!
all the brown and black girls and many white women look at him appreciatively..
the white lady ignores that doctors and facilitating agencies make 20k+ off the process… she ignores you can provide for the birth mother while making huge profits…. would it be a big deal if a facilitating agency makes 15k instead??
the professor says, i interviewed this legal mother once. she said that she watched her child being born. as soon as the baby came out, the surrogate put the baby to her breast.
this white lady says to my professor, THIS DIRTY WOMAN. SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH. SHE WAS FILTHY AND DIDNT CLEAN HERSELF UP BEFORE PUTTING MY CHILD TO HER REPULSIVE BREAST.
so she’s good enough to be your incubator but not to feed the child she sustained for 9 months??
the professor says, there is this blog about a woman who did this out-sourcing. when her child was born she signed a contract with the surrogate for 1 m of breast milk. every 2 hours, she was hooked to a pump and basically milked at the hospital where she was recovering. the mother refused to let the surrogate breastfeed directly. she had a runner go to the hospital and bring the milk every few hours.
but no, let’s not speak of this!
how hard must infertility be for rich white people…….
“To be frank, childbirth gives a woman a giant set of balls. The high you get as you realize it’s all over, and that you didn’t actually die, can last the rest of your life. Off their faces with euphoria and bucked by how brave they are, new mothers finally tell the in-laws to back off, dye their hair red, get driving lessons, become self-employed, learn to use a drill, experiment with Thai condiments, make cheerful jokes about incontinence, and stop being afraid of the dark.”—How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Moran
Just walking incubators
While in a group of three other women and one man we discussed whether or not children were in the picture in our futures.
I said I didn’t want kids, for many serious reasons, but then on the end I half-jokingly added I was too big of a wimp to handle childbirth regardless.
The man looked at me, dead pan, and said, “Women who are afraid of the pain of childbirth are cowards. Women have been doing it for generations, you’re built for it and meant for it.”
I was honestly speechless and the ladies in the group awkwardly changed the subject. If I could go back in time I would have clocked him with my righteous fist of female anger.
APPARENTLY WE’RE JUST WALKING INCUBATORS, LADIES. BEING AFRAID TO GESTATE ANOTHER PERSON INSIDE YOUR GUTS THEN WRITHE IN AGONY WHILE THEY REND YOUR LOINS ASUNDER CLAWING THEIR WAY INTO THE WORLD IS NOTHING TO FEAR.
You could go to war, find the cure for HIV/AIDS, rescue a kitten from a burning building but if you don’t want to have children you are a spineless, yellow-bellied coward.
Nope. Nope. Nope.