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There are different types of cheating/cheaters.
- The physical cheating. This considers any type of cuddling, holding hands, kissing, or being intimate in any way.
- The emotional cheating. This is the type of cheating where you have some sort of attraction towards anyone else other than your significant other. It is fine to think someone is attractive, but if you start thinking of someone else, have a crush on someone else, like or even love someone else. Then you got yourself a situation.
- Flirting. Some may not consider this cheating, but it is a type of form of cheating. Anything you cannot do in front of your significant other is considered cheating. Keep that in mind.
- The social network cheater. Just because they aren’t in person, doesn’t not mean it isn’t considered cheating. If you are using the internet to have a secret profile, hide/delete things, find other people to flirt with, that is cheating. If you are trying to get other people’s numbers from the internet to call in the middle of the night when your babe isn’t around, sext, or phone sex, etc. and you do that with your babe, that is replacing, and that is cheating.
- The “on and off” cheater. This is the type of cheater who will talk to other people when you guys are not together, or when things are not going well in the relationship. Whether if you were the one who broke up with them, or they broke up with you. They will try to find someone else while the break up and when it doesn’t work out with them, they will come back to you. Same story goes for when you two are fighting and not talking.
- The “it wasn’t me” cheater. Just because they initiated it, doesn’t mean that you have to keep it going. It takes two people, simple as that.
- The unofficial cheater. You don’t really need that “boyfriend and girlfriend” label for it to be considered cheating. If you are telling this person you love them, being intimate with them and pretty much treating them like a significant other, you practically already in a relationship.
- The “I’m breaking up with you” cheater. This one is really really tricky, but I see it happen all the time. They are the ones who prolong a relationship they don’t want to be in, wait for the right moment when someone else comes along and then they dump you for that person. They are the ones who break up with someone then right after, start talking to so many other people. I feel a lot of people do this so they won’t be considered a cheater, when really they practically are.
“...I am going to apologize to everyone that has ever been cheated on. The circumstances are all the same. It always involves three people. Two who don’t care about the consequences and one who doesn’t deserve them.”—I’m The Girl Who Slept With Your Boyfriend
This Crazy Skank Doesn't Appreciate The Favor I'm Doing Her By Not Screwing Her Boyfriend Again
Flagpole Magazine, Reality Check, 15 May 2013:
I have a problem. My friend just spent a year after college here in Athens working and I’m afraid he’s going to move away, worse, I’m afraid he’s going to move to be with his girlfriend who moved out of town for grad school. His girlfriend is terrible, she gets viciously jealous and never wants us hanging out just because he’s cheated on her with me in the past—I’m talking way back when, like a year ago. I feel like she should really be over it by now if she trusts him at all. Also, I’ve noticed that she’s cool with him hanging out with female friends, just not me—this feels like a personal attack and I don’t feel that that’s warranted against me. Right after he and I hooked up and she lived in town I understood why she wasn’t a fan of our amazing friendship (it’s clearly way chilled out compared to her), but time has past and she doesn’t even live here anymore. I don’t think she should have control over our friendship and I think she’s going to use the idea of cheap rent, a new city and domesticity to lure him away from me and his job in Athens. I could understand him moving for a better job or for grad school but that doesn’t seem to be the case. And before you try to jump on my case about having feelings for him, let me just say: he and I are sexually attracted to each other, it’s painfully clear, and the only reason I haven’t hooked up with him again (which I could definitely do) is because I know that she’ll try to keep him from seeing me. Yes, I would date him, yes, I think about it all the time, and yes I enjoy the power struggle, but at the bottom of it all I just don’t want to lose him to his crazy girlfriend.
You are doing this guy’s crazy-ass girlfriend the favor of not fucking her boyfriend, which you could totally do if you weren’t a goddamned saint, and the way she repays you is to ensnare him into her evil vagina trap of bitchitude?
First off, this ignorant skank needs to get up off both of y’all’s nuts for like two minutes, because she obviously, and moreover incorrectly, thinks she has some kind of special relationship to a dude you fucked once just because she’s been dating him seriously for at least a year, whatever the fuck that even means.
If this hellwhore wants to get personal, that’s her stupid problem and shit is not a reflection on your character since it’s not as if you fucked her boyfriend like, to be rude or whatever. The fact that Turdface McMarthaStewart is totally cool with Duder hanging out with women he doesn’t have a history of fucking clandestinely just shows how batshit she is and how you are reasonable as balls.
Legit though, if there’s one person in this situation who is wholly blameless, it is Duder, who would totally be with you except he’s being mind-controlled by his hyper-possessive, super dramzzzz of a girlfriend. Otherwise Duder would totally be locked into your chill as fuck vaginal tractor beam, because you are like the most chilled out person of all time, which is why you have spent a year creating elaborate fantasies in your mind about a man you fucked once. Either you’re responsible for Duder’s actions, or Dingbat Von Playhouse is, but he himself definitely is not.
You are not Duder’s girlfriend for all of the world’s reasons except for the reason that he doesn’t actually want you to be his girlfriend, which is impossible, because you are super chill.
How to Spot a Cheater
Household duties and chores may become neglected. You’ll notice your partner spending more time on the Internet or literally laying around on the couch with no interest with the housekeeping of the house. He or she may just so happen to be in a fog-like state but really they’re probably thinking about the other person. Time spent with family may also decline. Interest in weekend activities with yourself, attendance to sports games, time spent alone with you such as date nights, etc….all become greatly diminished.
We’re no fool to our partner’s spending habits as well as the haves and have-nots of their employee history. Needless to say we know when things don’t add up, it’s clear. If your partner is making frequent trips to the ATM and money is constantly disappearing, leave it to your own instincts to realize that something’s up. You may think it is a gambling habit or a number of other things, but don’t bet on that. Chances are if your significant other is going to a job 40 hours a week, they have money and they always should. Cheating doesn’t come cheap. If you can’t figure out where that money’s disappeared to, it’s definitely not being spent on you.
Never Been in a Serious Relationship
Relationships are not games, which is why we truly do sympathize for those who see them no other way. Face it, someone who’s been in even one relationship for three years is far more knowledgeable than someone who’s been in three relationships in the last three months. Being in multiple relationships just isn’t healthy. We crave that stability and if our partners are stuck playing the guessing game to see whose relationship will last longer that’s simply a game I want no part in.
They’re Focusing on Your Faults
It’s not natural over the course of a relationship to keep things bottled up – whether it be how annoyed you get when your guy tries to act cool or when your girl is trying too hard to be perfect. After a while, they’re going to get tired of your behavior and start looking for someone who isn’t as needy for the attention. Once they find characteristics they feel you lack in someone else, they’ll start noticing every little flaw in you you’ve worked so hard to erase. This is his or her way of justifying the cheating, but don’t let them win here. Always remain three steps ahead.
They’re a Narcissist
Does your significant other think they’re so amazing that they deserve special treatment? Or do they show little regard for your feelings yet still expect to be the center of attention? Either way it goes, you could be dealing with a narcissist whether you agree or not. There are strictly ego-driven, which means they need someone by their side at all times to idealize, admire and be in awe of them. In fact, most of the time a relationship’s not really what they’re after. They’re trying to cope with a personality disorder that even therapists can’t cure.
prompt: Bond and Q have a lovely life together. One day James freaks out about how domestic they have become, so he sabotages things by having a one night stand… with another man. Q finds out and is obviously really hurt. I’ll let you decide the ending. Thanks! – anon
This was never gonna end well. /sigh/. Hope you enjoy! Jen.
Q let out a shuttered breath, eyes slipping shut, refusing to let it upset him. He was an adult, in a high-powered job, and really, he should never have been so naïve as to think that he could have it all. A boyfriend who loved him, a gorgeous flat, a goddamn cat that was still alive after several months; it was going perfectly, and then Bond had done this.
Oddly, Q would have dealt with it better if it had been some gorgeous, statuesque woman. Bond had always had a weakness for that type.
Men, though. Apparently Q was his first. Initially, Bond had been entirely unable to handle his own sexuality. Q had painstakingly talked him off the metaphorical ledge, and they had managed to settle into a truly fantastic little life, at least for a while.
The other man was tall, muscled, gorgeous in an accessible way that managed to play on every single one of Q’s insecurities; he had always feared Bond considering him a weakling, some pathetic, effeminate little thing. And now, he chose to go home with a gorgeous, macho bloke from a random club to fuck into the earlier hours.
Q cried expressionlessly, because really, he felt he was allowed. He had loved Bond, he still did, and this was a betrayal on a level he could barely compute. This undermined everything.
“I thought… incorrectly, apparently… that you loved me,” Q said, in a tone that was frighteningly flippant.
Bond’s eyes were slightly wide, clearly shocked at having been caught out. “Q…”
“I don’t give a fuck,” Q replied wearily. “You intentionally selected the type of person who would hurt me the most. Malice on a hitherto unknown scale, James, I’m almost impressed.”
“I’m sorry,” Bond said frankly, openly, palms extended in a gesture of universal surrender. “I don’t have an excuse.”
Q shook his head slightly. “So why are you even here?” he asked quietly. “Do you honestly think an apology will cut it? All the time we’ve been together, and you fuck it up, and you don’t even have a reason?!”
“I said I didn’t have an excuse, not that I didn’t have a reason,” Bond said, a little too sharply, making Q growl a little. “Sorry. I… Q, I’ve never been in a long-term relationship, not like this. We have a fucking cat.”
Q let out a sharp, horrible cackle. “You think blaming this on your inability to commit will cut ice?” he asked rhetorically. “Oh, you know – fuck this. Get out. Just get the fuck away from me, and don’t even fucking think about coming back. Jesus, James. I hope he was worth it, I really fucking do, I hope it was a fucking brilliant shag because you’re not having one from me again, you absolute shit.”
“OUT,” Q screamed, inches from throwing things.