»⋅━◈⋅Changing Myself for the Better⋅⋅

━Going to start forgiving and forgetting. Holding grudges has negative effects on my overall well being and there is no reason to let the ones who have done me wrong have that kind of negative power over me. Letting go of grudges will clear my conscience and make me feel a lot better.

━Treating everyone with kindness. Being nice to everybody (yes even those who are rude or disrespectful towards me). 

━Speaking well of others. The last thing I’d want is to be known as that insecure girl who is always saying mean things about others. Being nice feels way better than being mean, and gossiping makes me feel bad after I do it sometimes. Being positive and non-judgmental towards people is never a bad thing.

━Stop making excuses. I do this far too often, but its better to accept my own failures rather than to push them onto some other person or thing.

━Trying to avoid comparing myself to others. Everyone is working at their own pace in life, and there is no reason to feel bad about my place in life. There will always be someone better or worse, and focusing on myself is a much better game plan.

━Stop seeking approval from others. I want to care less about what people think of me, and stop trying to be who I think they want me to be. I am the decider of my own future, and nobody else.

━Nurture more of my social relationships. Show people that I care more often, and go out of my way to be kind to those who I care about. Taking time to see people, and rekindling old relationships is something I want to do.

━Tell the truth, all the time. I want to be more honest because lying creates a whole lot of stress. It also helps build trust with those around me.

━ Work on exercising, sleeping, and eating better. I want to boost my self esteem and feel better health wise. Diet is a huge chunk of mental health and why you feel the way you do, and putting healthful things into my body will make me a lot happier in the long run. More planning, and waking up the same time every day.

━Establish more control over myself and my own life. Not letting others tell me how to live my life, and being in charge of my own feelings and self worth.

━Stop obsessing over things that cannot be changed. Accepting that a lot of things in life aren’t fair, but that is okay. Focus more on what I can control and how to change it for the better.

First of I wanna start by saying where ever that person is who is waiting for me, please get by. Its because right now I’m trying to change myself consciously as a person and once I reach for what I need to achieve and get it, that is when I’ll try and get to you. All I ask for you to continue to wait. It won’t be much longer :)

Day One:

I’ve reevaluated myself. There are things I need to fix within myself and I accept that. I meditated today for 2 hours and oddly enough it only felt like I had been there for maybe 30 minutes. I think meditation will really help me out. To be honest, sitting in silence and thinking is really a great form of therapy.

I see I need to get myself back into my sketchbook and art and forget about other people’s problems. I want to be able to have a great portfolio for college and from this day forward, I’m going to work as hard as possible. I’m going back to how I was before and setting my goals into place again.

I know I should have never cared what people thought and tried to impress them but I was blinded by teenage stupidity. Everyone falls off the path sometimes, I just have to jump back on now.