How Captain Marvel changed me...

When Captain Marvel #1 first came out I was overjoyed because Carol Danvers is my #1 favorite Marvel super hero. I was so excited and then I hit the last 4 pages, where Helen Cobb is voicing over the panels (or whatever she’s doing) and I was flabbergasted. I handed it to my mother and she said, “Holy shit it’s like that was written to you.” See my screen name growing up was Alwaysdreaming because when someone would say something or I’d notice something I’d go in my own head making it better or more. I’ve always had a fiery passion and go for things most times without thinking it through, running full bore. Shortly after this time I began to lose myself. Long story short though the bullying had stopped many years ago those harsh words began to become heavier on my heart as I grew older and I hit a wall in my career which caused me to lose a sense of direction in my life. 

I was having an off day and decided to hide myself in my comic books, more specially Captain Marvel. I hit those last 4 pages again but this time a different reaction happened, a “what are you doing with your life you identified with this months ago and that’s not you now!” reaction. This is not where I’m meant to be in life I’m holding myself back for some reason and I don’t even know the reason! I knew I had to reach my potential and get out of this funk so I put the comic book down and called a Muay Thai gym near my house and signed up for a class, something I’ve wanted to do for 8 years but was too scared that people would judge me again. (Stupid 13 year old mentality still blocking me!)  Today I went to that class and when I got there I did the most GRUELING 45 minute class I’ve ever done. I wanted to barf but I kept thinking, “The Lord put you here to punch holes in the sky, punch those fucking holes” I made it through and signed up for the gym because I’m gonna to get where I’m going.

The next time people say to me that comic books are just childish I’m going to tell them how 4 pages kicked me in the ass and helped me pull myself off the ground. And the day I finally meet Kelly Sue DeConnick I’m going to do my best not to cry as I thank her for writing something that inspired me get back on track to being me. (I’m totes gonna cry because I’m already tearing up. I’M STILL A BADASS OKAY?!)