Being a Canadian is confusing because you sound like an American, write like a Brit and throw in just enough French words to freak everyone out.

A typical day in Canada. Eh.

  • Wake up.
  • Sing national anthem.
  • Feed the moose.
  • Let some sunlight into the igloo.
  • Eat cereal and maple syrup.
  • Dress up in all year round snow pants, boots, and jackets.
  • Ride the polar bear to school.
  • Play hockey until school finishes.
  • Wait to be picked up in our snow blowers.
  • Get some Tim Hortons on the way.
  • Pay with monopoly money of course.
  • Listen to parents day being a lumber Jack.
  • Drop by the trading shop to get the latest and most fashionable tuque.
  • Let friend use snow blower and dog sled home.
  • Bacon and maple syrup for dinner.
  • Let dogs round up the moose.
  • Blow out candle lighting the igloo.
  • Sleep.
  • Repeat.

in canada our spring isn’t two months of gradually warmer weather it’s more like two months of winter’s wildly indecisive little brother and then everything melts and all of a sudden it’s summer

sometimes I really wish I lived in the UK. and by sometimes, I mean most of the time

image

Good-night, sweet prince, and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest

Canada Tightens Border as Romney Surges: The New Yorker (ha ah a oh my god)

newyorker.com

sometimes I get offended by canadian stereotypes, and then I remember the time a moose was in the playground when I was in elementary school and kids threw rocks at it. we had to have an assembly about animal cruelty and afterwards we held an apology vigil for the moose by the swingset. 

Dear Canada

It’s uh. It’s May. In case you forgot. You seemed to remember there for a couple of days, but it seems you forgot again. Don’t mean to bother you or anything, but it’s a little chilly :S

If you get a second, turn up the heat?

Thanks! Love,

A cold Canadian

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