Oh, the Cambrian Can!

So I wrote song parody about the Cambrian period. It’s pretty obvious what song I’m parodying.

What geologic period

Could change a small array

To nearly all the metazoan phyla found today?

The Cambrian…

Oh, the Cambrian can!

The Cambrian can with its increased O2 levels

and diversity.

When did early creatures

Develop shells and bones?

And claws and eyes to fossilise and be preserved in stone?

The Cambrian…

Oh, the Cambrian can!

The Cambrian can with its explosion of life

and all its predators

Within the Cambrian,

the major body plans

of animals all got their start-a…

They’re well preserved in Cambrian strata…

From Arthropoda to Chordata!

Fossil beds from Chengjiang

And the Burgess Shale

Excellently preserve all the claws and plates and tails

from the Cambrian,

Oh, the Cambrian can

The Cambrian can with its fossil lagerstaaten

speak to us through time

The Cambrian had this!

Anomalocaris!

What a strange big shrimpy fella,

with trilobites and Haikouella…

and Opabinia and Marella!

What geologic period

could could take the Cambrian’s life?

Wipe it out and replace it with orthocones and strife?

the Ordovician

The Ordovician can

But everyone knows scorpions and jawless fish are

not as good as trilobites

Ostracoderms and land plants just can’t beat

the Cambrian fauna, you know that’s right

That silly Ordovician ends in one big pointless

mass extinction anyway