“Bystander Pledge I pledge to: • Speak up when I hear sexist jokes and offensive homophobic comments that objectify women or demean gay men and women • Educate myself and talk to others about sexual violence and what we can do together to make a difference • Examine my values and attitudes and change anything that I may be doing that contributes to sexual violence • Listen to, believe, and support someone who has been assaulted or is worried about their safety and wellbeing • Pay attention to and take action when I see, hear or know of someone who needs help • Challenge my friends when they are behaving in a risky or non-respectful manner • Think critically about the images and lyrics that are violent and degrading to women”—Via- I Know Someone…
Speak up in 2013
If you haven’t already, we should all add this to our new year’s resolutions list:
Speak out against sexual violence and rape culture.
While fighting something as monstrous as rape culture can seem daunting, there are many little things we can do to start creating little waves of change. Here are some things that I try to do among my friends and in my communities:
1) Talk to your friends about boundaries
One way we can fight sexual violence is by embracing consent and healthy boundaries. And that doesn’t just apply to having sex. If we can create a trend where people start asking others about their boundaries and personal space, we can help people practice asking consent and asserting their own boundaries in sex, too.
2) No more rape jokes
If rape jokes and statements like “I raped that test” make you feel uncomfortable it can help to start speaking up. It is difficult to be the one person in the room who calls someone out for a rape joke so you can try only speaking up when in front of a small group, not using an aggressive or adversarial tone of voice, or coming back with a simple joke, like “oh yeah because rape is hilarious, right guys”.
3) Pay attention to the media
Rape is talked about all the time in the news and on TV shows or movies. But if you listen to the way it is talked about, you notice a lot of victim-blaming, slut-shaming, etc. So next time a case of sexual violence makes it on the news in your community, get your friends and family’s consent to have a conversation about the harmful or biased way that it’s being presented.
4) Be an active bystander
Act out if you see or hear a potentially dangerous situation near you. You can intervene by directly telling someone that what they’re doing is bad. You can mitigate by telling a teacher or calling the police. You can distract by making a scene and disrupting whatever’s going on. Just keep yourself safe, too.
Have a safe and happy 2013, everyone!
To know more about consent or to ask us questions just go to: http://kcsarcpop.tumblr.com/ask
I’m glad the Steubenville rapists were found guilty. However, let’s be clear: Convicting these rapists does not solve the larger problem.
Think of all the people who witnessed this rape as it occurred and did not intervene. Think of the guy who testified that he did not intervene because he “didn’t know exactly what rape was.” That is what rape culture looks like. Until we create a world where people take consent seriously and practice bystander intervention when they witness abusive behavior, crimes like this will keep happening. And until we end the stigmas, ignorance, disrespect, and silence that keeps survivors from reporting, the vast majority of rapists won’t face this kind of accountability.
This is what they mean when they say bystander intervention. Not so tricky?
I was travelling on the bus back from the Soundwave concert in Adelaide into the northern suburbs. Sitting in front of me was a young Asian girl listening to headphones. Three mid forty males that had attended The Clipsal 500 were standing in the aisle, talk loudly but being relatively civil. One of the males sat down next to the young girl, and continued there good time. The young girl pressed the button for the bus to stop at her stop when the male sad to her “you’re not getting off now are you? we’ve not had a chance to talk” she smiled politely and continued to wait for the bus to stop. The bus had to pull over and take off again which meant the young girl had to press the button with more comments from the male. “oh dont be like that” “she thinks she’s getting off” (directed at his friends). I said to the guy “you don’t need to say that, just let her off the bus” when he replied “Im just having some fun” I explained that ’it’s not fun for her, let her out of her seat”.