LXI.
There once was a boy who loved me in adolescence. This meant that he hurt more than he showed affection because the feeling was new and it scared him and sometimes people who are in love need it so desperately to be mutual and no matter how many times I told him my heart was his, he cried at night because he knew I did not mean it. I remember how he would subconsciously retaliate the pain I inflicted to calm the pace of his breath. He said if our hearts couldn’t beat the same that at least our skin would with our scars.
I counted all his wrongs one night and was frightened more at my ability to accurately remember than what the tally came up to. I realized I could never forgive him no matter how much he grew and because we were young, how I knew he would grow to be a beautiful soul.
LXII.
There was a time when I told you I loved you and you said that you wished it hadn’t been so early in our years. You did not know it, but you made our love obsolete that morning. I stared at empty spaces believing that our love had no use in the present because you were too busy wishing our paths had crossed at a later date.
That night I thought of all the people I had turned away who had told me that the clicking of two souls is chance and luck and a blessing that should be thanked on the holiest level. That’s when I realized that you weren’t taking us for granted because you never understood the beauty of what we had at all.
I hope you know this is for the better. Goodbye.
