Imagine this:

A country called Rosieland.

It’s a small country, just one town, but more than enough for those who live there.

Rosieland has its own IKEA called 4077 Furnishing, which offers 4077 items such as the Hawkeye Hammock, the BJ Bed and the Charles Chandelier.

The most popular clothing store is called Section 8, featuring their own exquisite Klinger Collection. You could also visit the smaller chain Price & Honeycomb, which offer the Rosenose and Redrobe collection as well as the popular jewelry collection DogTag.

Need a haircut? Anyone would suggest BJ’s Moustache, where after the haircut you get a free comb and the whole staff wears pink shirts and Converse shoes.

If you like this particular style of clothing, why not visit Bea & Jay’s where you can buy said pink shirts, Chuck Taylors and personally designed moustache combs among other fabulous items. They also have a motorcycle repair shop in the back.

Although if your car needs service, you’ll have to go to the only car repair shop in town, Rizzo’s. They’ll get the job done, but don’t expect it to be quick. You’ll have to be patient.

Speaking of patients, there are two hospitals in town. On the north side of town we have the Pierce Clinic, surrounded by beautiful, lush maple trees. The Pierce Clinic could brag about their tremendous reputation, but they focus on making you feel better. The staff is known for its great sense of humor and medical skills, and they sometimes appear in colorful Hawaii shirts instead of the customary white robes. They have been heard teasing their competitor on the other side of town, saying “Frank Burns eats worms”.

On the south side of town you’ll find the Burns Clinic, not so well known for the skills of its staff as by its rigid, impersonal treatment of its patients. Some people like it that way. There are rumors that the owner of the Burns Clinic, Frank Marion Burns, has employed the somewhat shady FDS – Flagg’s Detective Services – to find faults in the Pierce Clinic’s routines and treatment of its patients, but to no avail.

Having a “bad face day”? Hot Lips, the makeup store, will fix you right up. You can get anything you need – a fiery motivational speech from the staff to boost your self-confidence, a tube of red lipstick, whichever you like best. Perhaps both.

For the music lovers, there’s the Winchester Theatre which performs everything from Beethoven’s symphonies to Shakespeare plays. If you’re not into the classical stuff, you can pop in to Spalding’s Guitars across the street. Don’t worry, they have other instruments as well.    

On your tour through town, you are likely to get hungry at some point in the day. Chez Klinger and Igor’s are the town’s most popular restaurants. Igor’s is most known for its wonderful ribs with sauce and coleslaw, while Chez Klinger is a little more expensive and exclusive, offering a wide arrange of fine wines and other classy dishes you can enjoy among the many authentic, vintage Lebanese decorations.  You will, according to reviews, want to thank the cook afterwards.

Sherman Stables is a popular place for the horse fanatics to hang out. It works in cooperation with Radar’s Pet Shop, and the two businesses are both located in the outskirts of town. While Sherman Stables may have a military-like attitude in its lessons, fairness and good treatment of the horses, staff and pupils always comes firsthand.

If you’re not into horses but still a fan of an active lifestyle, Blake’s Fishing Club or the Trapper Golf Club might be something for you – or you could always become a member of the gym Penobscott Muscles, or the Francis-Fists boxing club.

To end the day, a visit to the best bar in town, The Swamp, is never wrong, according to 10/10 independent reviews. The Swamp offers not only great chit-chat and creative drinks – in the weekend evenings when Dr. Pierce, head of the Pierce Clinic, comes to work as bartender for a few hours, customers are showered with endless flattering comments and winking eyes. When asked about why a successful surgeon would voluntarily work part-time as a bartender, Dr. Pierce has said that those are the hours he would be spending in the bar anyway, and he has asked to be called nothing but “Hawkeye” outside his hospital walls.

After your full rich day in this wondrous town I’m sure that whatever your philosophy on life is, you will want to pray for this town to remain forever. The place to do this is Mulcahy Church, named after the Saint John Patrick Francis Mulcahy, who also happens to be the town priest as well as the owner and instructor of Francis-Fists.