Remember before the Sherlock fandom ruined everything and I was talking about how great/hilarious it would be if Sherlock had jumped off the hospital building and fallen into Ankh-Morpork (like Sam did in Night Watch)?
And now I don’t care anymore because the Sherlock fandom has ruined everything.
And I really hate them for that.
<3 to <3
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m on a whole other level than the rest of the world. It’s like within a short amount of time, I’ve had my mindset towards life change and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. I’ve had two “best friends” that I’ve known my whole life talk behind my back during my birthday week including my actual birthday. I’ve been emotionally drained from a recent events including witnessing my relationship with someone that I always fell back on since eighth grade come to an end in one night over unfortunate mistakes and multiple failed, almost forced attempts of something more than a friendship along with the realization that we both have to move on and that he’ll no longer be the default in my life. With that, I’ve experienced pain that few have: uncharted, haunting pain that marks new territory that varies from heartbreak (and I’m not trying to undermine anyone’s heartbreak. I’m just saying that there’s a difference from what I’ve experienced to past experiences of heartbreak of mines and others). I had responsibility forced onto me as well as the conflicts of work and my duties. I’ve had my faith tested in many ways over a span of 2 months especially my faith in people.
However during these past two months, I’ve reached milestones such as reaching my 18th birthday and graduating from high school. New experiences included me opening myself up more than I ever have before to people I don’t really associate with: non-church friends, which have been nothing short of great, complete opposite of most of the latter. I have also have realized how much I love and cherish the people who are constantly by my side and are always available when to talk when I’m having a bad day/to be a good shoulder to cry on/to distract me from harsh realities/to just listen/to completely trust
(i.e. Dad, Ivan, Nikki, Janssen, Victor, Mark, Gianne, Isabelle, Aika, Czarina, Gabi, Thuy-lai). My love for music has been re-sparked compared to its absence in my life the past two years. I’ve been open to new things, no longer letting consequences hold me back. Most differently, I’ve gained this sense of inner peace. I could be angry at my “friends” for talking crap. I could be angry at the guy for gradually breaking my heart, disrespecting me, leaving me broken and vulnerable, and giving me a final low blow after all of it. I could be mad at God for letting the seemingly worst thing (after murder) happen to me. But I’m not and I don’t think I ever will. I could’ve served vengeance with a nasty backhand. But I care too much to lose my friends over some stupid misunderstanding and I care too much for that guy, whatever his actions were, to make me hate him. Most of all, I could never hate God for constantly being patient with me during times where I question everything about myself, for understanding when I’m reluctant to pray to Him and instead just end up losing myself in my thoughts and worries knowing that He’s still listening, for using His instruments to offer me words of advice, for always giving me that reassuring sense of security that I honestly feel in my heart whenever I feel scared or uncomfortable, for being the only One that knows and understands my feelings, experiences, and thoughts.
I know that my outlook towards life will forever be different as these experiences have shaped me in ways that I’ve never known possible. Of course, I currently have ups and downs, but ultimately I believe that eventually I’ll be okay.
Hey, boys and girls of Tumblr. I know I’m probably calling doom down upon me for posting this to my Facebook wall. I live in the Bible Belt and all. But I couldn’t go to sleep until I’d typed this up and posted it. It’s word for word. Please tell me if I’m off track or base with it. Thanks~!
Laying here, about to go to sleep, and suddenly an odd question popped into my head. Leviticus put up a lot of Old Testament laws that don’t make sense now days (not wearing fabrics of different materials at the same time, not piercing ears, not having anything to do with a woman on her period the week before, during and after, not letting people with disabilities go to church, eating seafood or pork or eagles or small or large owls). But people say that Jesus dying on the cross wiped those sins clean and made it so they weren’t sins anymore. You certainly don’t see people praying forgiveness for eating a porkchop or wearing jeans with a polyester shirt or being in the same room as a woman on her period.
Who decided that those were laws that were wiped clean and not considered sins anymore, and that homosexuality was still a big no? Strictly speaking, the New Testament actually says very little to nothing on homosexuality as the idea of homosexuality as a fixed notion wasn’t even present until the 19th century. I actually found an interesting article to go along with this while laying here researching. I’ll post a link at the bottom. The gist of it was that the ancient writers of the Bible wouldn’t have had a fixed concept of what we now call sexual orientation. Only vaguely homosexuality is mentioned in the New Testament, but it is found in not in the Book of Acts, Hebrews, or Revelations, nor in the letters of James, Peter, John, or Jude. We can surmise from that that what people got up to in there bedrooms, for lack of better terminology, was unimportant when compared to the love and respect for one another that Jesus taught first and foremost.
So I’m just wondering if anyone can point me toward where in the New Testament it says that Homosexuality is still a sin when eating pork and whatnot isn’t? And not just refer me Leviticus. Also, I hope this makes up for my lack of response last week that I was called out on /several times/ when I simply repeated something from a friend, as many people do. It didn’t fully sum up my feelings but I posted it anyway because it got the basic gist. I’ve been meditating on how to respond this entire time. This is a rather more complete explanation, I think. Much more understandable
And I’m serious about people needing to read this article that I’m hyper-linking to this. It really explains everything very well.
Good night, or morning, everyone who reads this, the ramblings of a half-asleep girl.
Seriously, read the link. It’s a good read. Especially Proposition 6 put up. It’s near the bottom.