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THEY’RE NOT PLAYING FOOTBALL THEY’RE ACTUALLY KICKING MY HEART AROUND ON THE DIRT FLOOR 

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HOLY SHIT GUYS LOOK WHAT JUST HAPPENED

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BEST

DAY

EVER

i’m honestly trying to find out why you would try stealing from a bank account

for a dating site

just let that sink in

someone tried stealing from my bank account by trying to get premium or whatever it is on a dating site

if i start the first bran chapter of winds of winter

only for bran to find out he

ate his best friend

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oh hey there lender, you made a mistake on my loan and you need to completely change my mortgage type 10 days before closing?

THAT’S COOL, NOT LIKE I WAS DOING ANYTHING ELSE TODAAAAYYYYY

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I WAS HOLDING ONTO A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL FOR MAYBE TWENTY SECONDS BEFORE I SOMEHOW FUCKING LOST IT ON THE GROUND IT’S LIKE THE FUCKING STOCK EXCHANGE IN HERE

Just discovered I have Civ Pro at 8:45 am next semester. 

WHO

WHY

FUCKERS

THIS IS MY SISTER'S FUCKING PROFILE PICTURE ON FACEBOOK.

Casual reminded that my 3rd grade teacher replaced Osama Bin Landen on America’s Most Wanted. 
 http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/topten

Whats funny is that the year after I graduated his class they realized he was a pedophile. 

Lord, who knew Mr. Toth was a fucking creep?

seriously hoping to inherit my mom’s black and silver glittery chaps that have her name in rhinestones on them. 

We had to do this thing where you walked around the classroom and asked certain questions. A kid came up to me and asked me what cartoon character I would be, and before I could answer he stopped me and said “Let me guess, Nuhrudo.?”

FUCKING.

I’M I REALLY STILL KNOWN AS THE NARUTO KID? 

I HAVE SCHOOL IN NINETEEN DAYS

That awkward moment when your friend tells you that your old elementary school teacher spoke with their parents and may be shipping you two together. I mean what.

literally pissing myself cause I have 433 dollars saved for warped

Pro-tip: Just because a friend gives you their facebook password and tells you you can go on their facebook whenever, doesn’t mean you should.

Because you might find a message from your boyfriend telling them to text him when they have a chance, and asking them not to tell you about it. 

I hate when parents swear in front of their kids, no matter what age, then get so angry when their kids start swearing like jfc
you taught your parrot how to say fuck, what did you think it was going to fucking say?
I love you?

OH MY FUCKING GOD

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