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OKAY, HOLY FUCKING SHIT, FOLLOWERS, WE NEED TO TALK.

THERE IS LITERALLY NO CONCEIVABLE WAY TO RESPOND TO ANY OF THE QUESTIONS WE HAVE RIGHT NOW IN ANY SORT OF MILDLY ENTERTAINING MANNER.  I HAVE SPENT THE LAST HOUR SLAMMING MY HEAD INTO THE KEYBOARD TRYING TO COME UP WITH WITTICISMS I COULD USE TO MAKE INTERESTING REPLIES TO YOUR SHITBRAINED INQUIRIES, BUT I CAN’T COME UP WITH A FUCKING THING.

HALF OF YOU ARE ASKING THE SAME EXACT FUCKING QUESTIONS, AND THE OTHER HALF OF YOU ARE ASKING QUESTIONS WE’VE ALREADY ANSWERED IN EARLIER POSTS.

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THAT THE ONLY EXPLANATION AS TO WHY YOU’RE GIVING US SUCH BORING PROMPTS IS THAT THERE HAS BEEN SOME KIND OF SECRET MASS TUMBLR USER ABDUCTION IN WHICH THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WHO FOLLOW THIS BLOG WERE TRAGICALLY LOBOTOMIZED.

WHAT I’M GETTING AT HERE IS THAT THE ASKBOX IS STILL OPEN.

PS - A GOOD RULE OF THUMB BEFORE SENDING A QUESTION:

ASK YOURSELF, “AM I TRYING TO GET OFF ON THIS?”

IF THE ANSWER IS “YES,” EJECT YOURSELF FROM THE SUBMISSIONS PAGE, TURN OFF THE COMPUTER, AND GO SIT OUTSIDE ON YOUR PORCH SWING AND PONDER WHAT CHOICES YOU MADE IN LIFE TO BRING YOUR EXISTENCE TO SUCH A LOW POINT.

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SHED A FEW TEARS IN THE PROCESS.  I FEEL LIKE THAT WOULD BE SITUATIONALLY APPROPRIATE.

things i want in life;

  • uncut version of starship.

Is there a celebrity that you don’t want to marry and you don’t want to be, but you just purely want to be friends with? Like you want to have lunch with them and talk about your favourite things and get random texts from them during the week and share inside jokes with and make them laugh…You just basically want to be their best friend?

Favorite Joke

How do you catch a unique rabbit?


… Unique up in it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?


… Tame way.


I don’t know why but that always makes me giggle.

Late night thoughts.

I wonder if anyone has masturbated to me.

JEMMA APPRECIATION POST

JEMMA IS SO FUCKING AMAZING AND SHE DOESN’T BELIEVE IT LIKE JFC

JUST LOOK AT HER

SUCH A CUTIE

SHE MAKES PROPS AS WELL

SHE MADE THAT FUCKING HOBBY HORSE ALL HERSELF

AND SHE IS SUPER AMAZING AND FRIENDLY AND FUNNY AND JFC A AMAZING PHOTOGRAPHER AS WELL

JEMMA DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE

That awkward moment when you are chewing gum and have to sneeze and the next thing you know is your gum lodged into a girl’s curly hair.

I wanted to run away so fast. But I told her and it was super awkward to explain and she just looked at me like…. wtf.

Great first day of my spring quarter. omg.

This one time when I was 14 I decided to wear heels and I tripped because I didn’t notice the curb at the masjid and there were three men having a conversation nearby so I made it seem as though I got really hurt and fatigued to avoid added embarrassment since they all rushed over to help me when really I just wanted to be like this

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what if the mayans were really just talking about the world domination of our overlord misha collins and they meant it was the end of the old world

Butt Appreciation Day

Friendly reminder that tonight is the first Thursday with the Office not being a running television show. I’m here for all my followers. 

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